No Skin Off My Nose

2012-01-29T11:00:00.003+11:00

this week, i got a gym membership, albeit a 7-day trial at 'the closest gym branch to my residence'. i soon found one 5-min's drive away instead. so i'll ditch this one soon enough. all is fair during the trial period, no?

i currently feel fit as a fiddle (though in reality i'm probably not. how fit is a fiddle anyway? it's technically a twig with string attached), which is a strange feeling, veins pumping with endorphins.. surely it can't last long. :p
the weighing machine says i lost 3kilos, which worries me, since it mighta come from some vital area that didn't have sufficient padding to begin with. O.o

then again, the lost kilos might have come from before gymming, since the weighing scale was hidden in the cupboard under the stairs, the very last place i looked (i stopped looking after i'd found it) yesterday. so i havent had a weigh-in since before my sg trip.
the whole trip, sista planned to go on diet - fruits and veg, nothing more.
but alas, her favourite line became 'jie, you're eating that? i'll share half ok?'.
and so, unintentionally, i lost half my caloric input and went hungry.
unbelievable.

anyway, it's likely i didnt just lose 3kilos in a week.
all i did was exercise 5 days in a row. it can't make that much of a difference, can it?
or maybe bodypump, pilates, swimming, bodystep and water aerobics can do that to/for you. i guess i'll never know.

yesterday, we did a headcount of the number of singaporeans and malaysians and ppl who arent gonna come back or are gonna move out of melbourne.
it dawned on me why i've felt like my only friends remaining were the local boys.
cos it's true.
again, a funny feeling.

it's also almost the end of january.
where did those 5 years go?

2012-01-15T23:02:00.003+11:00

here's a re-cap of the past week, for future-me's reference.
knowing my goldfish memory, i'd better put down in words some stuff i'd like to remember for a while.

i started work this week, and it was an interesting new chapter.
dental life is hectic, and on top of that, catching public transport while hoping to be punctual is somewhat exhausting. worked up a massive sleep debt and almost fell asleep during a driving lesson.
that day's lesson was to never drive when drained ever again, of course.
thankfully, i got green peas on friday the 13th. it rained, but i'd like to think of myself as waterproof sometimes.
thanks to that fortunate event, our GPS became my new best friend this weekend.
caught up with some great pals i havent seen in a long time, and had my tongue burnt from crazy wings and my jaw overworked from chewing crusty bagels.
picked up my uncle from the station and managed to deliver him safely to the obscurely located hotel with an easily-missed entrance.

that was a week of no regrets.
and next week could only be awesomer. :D

2012-01-12T22:07:00.002+11:00

TGIT!
survived the first week of work, so the rest of it should come more easily right?
"the start is always the hardest".
that's what all the older and wiser say. when i'm old and wise too, i'll let you know if i'd agree, but till then, there's only one way to find out..

i'm currently on a sleep debt of ~14hours.
at least i've been cured of jet-lag and have 'regular sleep hours', few as they may be.
>.<
lights off at 11 (ideally), lights on at 5.
i badly need that license.

my instructor's darn cute.
today after i made the same mistake twice, which i'd done yesterday too (i was in a sleeping stupor ytd from being overworked and driving right after work) - not turning directly into the left lane when i should/could - he chimed, "silly!! may i call you dumb-dumb, darling?"

i think that's his way of softening criticism. 'darling'.
he's a jolly old spartan chap that raps you on the wrist when you make a silly error and i can't help but laugh everytime.
'that's the most beautiful turn!'
'no, silly-billy!!'

best instructor ever.
fingers crossed.

2011-12-26T01:07:00.003+11:00

life's cool when your tummy's full.
we've been exercising everyday so far, what with having no car and catching up on sports we dont get to play anymore.
ran yesterday, pong today, badminton tmr. (:
ytd we went to the grocery store with instructions to buy toothpaste, condensed milk and butter. However, upon stepping in, Iggy and i kinda went crazy. If we could buy the whole shop, we certainly would. All the things we'd grown up with were right before our eyes once more.
Heaven. (:

the food here's great, and at crazily cheap prices.
i'd gotten used to paying for food of a different taste at a higher price, feeling compelled to eat a larger portion since it'd already been served up.
i guess things here are different - no wonder singaporeans are so skinny.
some of them look like they'd break in half if you knocked them over.
i've already spotted a few who are literally skin and bones.. it's something i havent seen in a long time.

the shopping here's crazy too.
40% off stuff, with an additional 15% discount (making it an overall 49% off) if you use a certain bank's credit card.
you never get that in melb. it makes shopping and myers or david jones feel like a rip-off somehow. :(
points are also redeemable for meals and snacks.

i'd forgotten what singaporeanism is partially about.
each time someone asks about what to do in singapore, all i can suggest is shop lots and eat lots!
guess that advice currently applies to me too. :D
i kinda dont wanna go back at this point.

teehee.

i've also been re-acquainted with our piano and one of dad's guitars, which is pretty much mine now.

other than having a screwed up body clock - waking at 6am without fail and having an annoying sister scream you awake despite your valiant attempts at clawing your way back to dreamland - life's pretty cool.

--------------------------------------------
such is life. (:
also, it's a series of happy coincidences..
i sat next to this supernice guy on the plane. He had the aisle seat; iggy and i had the other 2 in the row. in total, we probably caused him to get out of his seat a dozen times..
you see, for the first time i've ever seen, mum wasn't feeling well on the plane and threw up at least 4 times. she was seated with yangster, while iggy and i sat somewhere in the back. halfway through our inflight meal, the air steward said my mum was unwell and asked me to go see her. this being an unprecedented occurrence, iggy and i were kinda worried. when i got to mum, she was seated on the airhostess seats eyes closed and clutching her stomach; a worrying sight. :(
after some increased aircraft oxygen volume, regurgitation and lying down, we were told to return to our seats (a tad unceremoniously) by another air hostess. -.-

anyway, mr nice guy was most gracious despite having his meal interrupted and having to get in and out of his seat just so we could get pass. iggy was to go sit with yangster and mum would sit with me.
he asked after her condition and advised to take motionsickness pills since they sometimes help. mum insisted she never gets motion sick though, so she chose to remain unmedicated. he also gave us his pillow and blanket, which he insisted he didnt need.

after further chitchat, i realised how small the world is.
after congratulating me on my recent graduation, he said he'd been doing an internship at a hospital in melbourne after he graduated from UQ. When i asked which one, he said the Royal Dental Hospital of Melb.
my jaw dropped and my eyes almost popped.
turns out we'd been roaming the same hospital all year!
i'd never seen him before, but had certainly crossed paths with the other interns he'd mentioned..
after finding out i was singaporean, he said he knew a singaporean 5th year dental - YAQI. O.O
he met yaqi and 'something dang' (adrian) at monash community dental during his rotation there.
small world.

during our check in, iggybutt had spotted a dude carrying a Gunz Dental bag and asked if the dude was a dental i knew. 'No, must be a junior..'
in a brief moment where i musta sounded like a stalker, i asked mr nice guy if he happened to have carried a Gunz Dental bag that day.
this time it was his turn to have his jaw drop and eyes pop.
twas hilarious.

it was all purely coincidental, since we'd gotten those seats only after much trouble at the counter:
we got to the airport late, hoping to get bumped up to business class, since we'd heard of friends' success stories under similar circumstances.
there wasn't anything to lose anyway, since we'd forgotten about online check-ins and the remaining seats weren't anything to boast of.
anyway, after much false joy and near-success, we got 2 separated seats.
dissatisfied/hopeful, we went to the suggested counter to try and get seats together.
'my little sister has a fear of flying (it's true, she has a fear of heights occasionally) and gets motion sick so we kinda need to stick together..'
the ladies at that counter were brilliant and the coordination was a treat to watch.
'can you release cheryl golden* from 48C, ready when you are.'
[*not her real name]

so yea, happy coincidence. we ended up with those seats.
anyway, we might never cross paths again, which would be a shame, don't you think?
for starters, i forgot his name the moment he said it. twas Indonesian and something i wasn't even able to repeat back properly. >.<
and mine can't be remembered.
HAHA. oh well.

life's pretty cool, no?

2011-12-20T23:40:00.003+11:00

Stolen Secret Santa started stressfully but somehow subsided stunningly sweetly.
I'm so spent I shall sought sleep soon..

3 years ago i had a 'housewarming' at the apartment, which was in fact a sleepover.
I had no furniture except a bed, the dining table and chairs, an extra mattress and a bright green stool.
The sleepover consisted of people rolling around on the brand-new carpet, singing till the wee hours of the morning with a talented barbiegirl amongst us, chatting to construction workers at 5am, and eating pancakes (or rather a single pancake) for breakfast.
Looking back on that, i can't imagine how people'd have agreed to coming over and spending a night on the floor when they have comfy beds at home to return to. Or eat funny-shaped pancakes that'd turned cold while waiting for the final pancake to be cooked.
Those were the days. And that was my apartment of possibility.

I like empty houses, filled with possibilities and limitless potential to make them anything you want.
It's amazing that every piece of furniture in that place was built with help from my friends.
Right now, in its pre-rented/show-room condition state, everything seems like it were, back when my possessions were sparse and limited to needs. Good times.

3 years later, i chanced a second housewarming.
This time, I have furniture. Some, but not a lot, maybe even too little. Haven't yet found the right armchairs; the right fittings.
This time, there was more food.
This time, there was more stress too, scrambling for gift ideas, cookery, picking a gift from a pile and going through all the internal calculations - to steal or not to steal.
Twas another good day. (:

Guess it'll be a while till i have another housewarming with this bunch..
Probably when i reach another chapter in my life.

But that don't mean no house parties. At someone else's house, perhaps. :p

Happy first month old, House.

2011-12-15T08:47:00.004+11:00

Scariest dream ever. I was microwaving something in a jumbo sized microwave oven and decided it was done cooking, so I opened it, expecting the microwaves to stop when I broke the circuit by opening the door.
Unfortunately, it didn't stop. Inside, I could see a bright blue swirling vortex, which certainly wasn't coming from the chicken pie I was hoping was warmed up nicely.. I was about to get sucked in when mum came to my rescue and pulled me out of the machine and tried to slam it shut. However, it just couldn't close anymore, perhaps cos my super strength had dented the top bit. So we just stood there staring at each other, and I twinged, hoping the irradiation wouldn't have any permanent effects. I felt so guilty to have implicated mum. Reminded me of the scene from Watchmen.
Within a dream, I swore to myself never to open a microwave oven without first making sure it had stopped completely,, a lesson Chua had taught me many years ago in portsea, which I deviate from on occasion.

Interesting how dreams can consolidate resolutions..

In other news, I now have a pet caterpillar. I'd tried so hard to release it, after finding it crawling up my bedroom wall and diving into my pillow when it realized the ceiling wouldn't get it anywhere and the only way out was on the ground.. It wouldn't take to the tree leaves or the grass and just clung to the paper I tried to transplant it outside with. So I gave it a lettuce leaf and it's been chewing and making veggie juice ever since. I hope it doesn't die. Named it Forgiveness, which sounds lame but is befiting. I keep referring to it as Catty though. Hope it evolves..

Ok, back to bed. Gotta have a good dream to start the day right? :p

2011-12-11T23:11:00.004+11:00

i want a neverfail fairytale.

grandma and grandaunt left today.
the house now feels incredibly empty.

unfortunately, i couldn't send them off to the airport.
and so i devised a way they could take me with them, in spirit.
after a failed attempt to take them to lunch with all 6 of us packed in a 5-seater car, (failed cos the restaurant in mind was closed) they dropped me off back at the house where i waited for a lift to a boxhill-kids meetup.
pacing through an empty house, i decided to dig up my packed-in-an-unknown-corner-of-the-house photo papers, and willed my printer to have sufficient ink to print some decent photos.
my chinese handwriting's all strange now, but still legible. i hope.

and then, like a ninja elf, i made my escape before they got home, cos it's pretty cool to receive stuff secretly left just for you to find. (that's the magic of christmas trees and toothfairies right?)

this place feels too big for the 4 of us.
after we'd been living together in a 2-room apartment for 3 months and complaining of cramped conditions, here i am talking about having too much space.
that girl, never satisfied it seems. >.<

anyway, i miss them already.
dad said popo 'really liked whatever it was you gave them'.
i certainly hope so. (:

and so life goes back to how it used to be; back to having to cook and clean up after ourselves..
when the 2 grannies arrived, even us adults felt like pampered kids.. twas too lovely a feeling.

it's amazing how no matter which way i look at it, her whole life has been about giving.. i'd be lucky if i were half as cool in future..
nice people like her are the reason i've never mopped a floor. no one ever made me do it or taught me how.. :(

it's like they don't want me to be cinderella or something.
so there goes my chance with prince charming. lol.

on a more serious note, that topic keeps popping up every second day.
when i'm 40 and married, i'll look back and laugh. but right now.. i'll just take it as another sign that they care. albeit a lot.

2011-12-08T11:28:00.003+11:00

... I'll come running to see you again.

Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
all you have to do is call.

Can't believe it's the end. :'(
thank you..

2011-11-16T11:50:00.005+11:00

If I'm smart then I'll run away
But I'm not so I guess I'll stay

it's been an interesting week.
packing up my things as well as emotions and attachment to certain things i'd become so used to at the university. it's like we're on the final pages of the last chapter, and the book cover's timed to shut on us whether or not we're ready.
gonna get squashed like a bug, just cos i can't let go.

in other news, yesterday i had my first job interview ever.
i enjoyed it. probably me being strange, i enjoy being put on the spot once in a while just to see how i talk my way out of it. that's the only way to grow i reckon.
it's silly that the travel took almost 6 hours, while the interview only lasted 45mins. nevertheless, it was a great roadtrip.

gasp. where have the days gone?

it all happened not so long ago.

2011-11-10T11:19:00.002+11:00

tuesday, jolly tuesday.

i postponed an appointment to the week after. just cos i was lazy to travel.
there's also supps to be organised on that day, if that should be my fate.
and then i received an email that said i'll be busy travelling next tuesday after all, to the land far far away.
i just new i didnt postpone the other appt just cos i'm a bum.

i couldn't sleep, with the whole day's events replayed in my mind.
sub-standard exam prep; breaking my umbrella handle cos i'm THAT strong; examiners who complained of my softspokeness and fed on my insecurities; a plate of spicy chicken ribs on rice topped with pollen for lunch; waiting for a courier whom i believed would never show up; catching up with the long-lost girlies at ikea; dinner with the gang and exchanging stories; coming home and not having to head straight to my desk for study; catching up with mum and just talking for the fun of it; not sleeping till late cos i can; being on msn again; finding the email; whatsapping till my eyelids collapsed.

life always seems so uncertain.
a wise lal said, 'it's probably only raining, because the sky is so sunny for you'.
it sounds like such a wise sage thing to say. problem is, i don't get it.
some interpretation please!

till further notice.
full-on holiday mode!!! :D

2011-11-08T12:34:00.002+11:00

almost there.

if i said i don't enjoy talking, we'd all know i was lying.
i just don't fancy talking about disease and aetiology and getting cornered with questions and having to defend my case.

maybe that's what vivas are all about..
defending your case.
preparing you to defend yourself in times of litigation.
making you realise your own loopholes.
teaching you to turn it into something to your advantage, such as making yourself look more brilliant than earlier ascertained.

that i can do.
why do i keep thinking of law as an alternative career path?

dad: 'so how'd it go today?'
me: 'oh they kept shooting me with questions. at least 20 of em. good thing i'm good at coming up with excuses.. or reasons..'
dad: 'haha that's good. just as a dentist should be able to do.'
me: 'wait.. what??'
o.o

glad to be blogging again. (:

2011-10-23T23:28:00.002+11:00

funny how it seems like it's the only thing to do...

hmm.. the new uni gmail set-up made it impossible for me to sign into blogger for a week. so now i can't remember what we did all week.

3 days left and we're coming back to civilisation, and frankly, i've mixed feelings.
no more colliding with friends at every turn, no more late night chats, no more communal beauty and the geek.
i reckon i'll have withdrawal symptoms once we're evicted from this hellhold-paradise.
>.<

zoom zoom zoom-ing to the end now, and it's scaring me.
*groan*

in other news, i was meaning to write about how rural folks seem friendlier than i'm used to.
the other day we went bowling with the GVH staff, and i needed a plastic bag to store my (smelly) socks, so i asked the guy at the counter. He abandoned me at the counter, and walked over to the food corner and waited in line to get the chef's attention. After an exchange of shaken heads, the guy then wandered toward the bowling crowd and started talking to a young rowdy crew who had bottled drinks galore. Again, after some head-shaking, he wandered off again, this time approaching an old couple. Finally, he returned triumphant with a supermassive but shy grin and handed me the prized plastic bag and scurried off to his post before i could thank him properly for his chivalry.

it was most impressive.
a simple 'no, we don't have plastic bags for smelly socks, my apologies' would have sufficed.
(:

tomorrow's on its way here already.. need to shower. bye!

2011-10-16T01:42:00.002+11:00

Had it been another day, I may have looked the other way..

Amongst all this exam madness, I'm glad for some Saturday night fun. Realized how adorable the pina colada song is. (:
Makes me wanna taste a pina colada someday.

Sleeeeeeeeeeep.

2011-10-12T21:24:00.002+11:00

i guess my parents are pretty slack by comparison..

teehee.

2011-10-06T12:21:00.002+11:00

song. stuck. in. head.

after another 2x7x(40winks), we're almost at the end of week 3,
which spells the halfway point.

gasps.

why can't we stay a while?
everything feels so positive, until my mind creeps to the doom and gloom of what comes after shepp.

girltalk.
it's amazing what you can find out from the grapevine.
even more amazing when i realised what we might end up talking about 10 years down the road.
a day at cobram gave me a snapshot of that.
baby names, home cooling and heating, vacuum cleaner excitement, housing and rentals, babies and childcare..

i feel as though i'm being pushed to grow up, perhaps sooner than i'm ready for.
find a job, get a car, drive yourself to work, pay rent, get married, get excited over household appliances (lol no way), have kids, worry about bills, use paid sickleave to substitute a vacation, train kids to be your personal masterchefs, grow old, have grandchildren, worry about medical bills and life in general, sit in a rocking chair and reminisce what went right.

lol what a cheery life prediction.

hang in there, lil grasshopper. you'll be old and wise soon enough.

2011-09-24T22:56:00.007+10:00

Blink and the first week's over.
How can that be?

Just last wkend I was scared to death about coming to Shepp.
All its surprises; being thrust into the unknown; having to cook for a thousand ppl after not lifting a spatula for months since mum moved in; being pushed closer and closer to the finishline; being a part of people I wasn't sure I'd get along with, or those I'd drifted away from; everything.
I'm clearly not a fan of change.

But little ol me couldn't have guessed how much fun she'd have in just a week.
Cooking has become something I'm looking forward to, believe it or not.
There's a piano there. And I went nuts the first night we found it.. (:
Chilling w the groupies has been awesome. And beauty and the geek has become our weekly 'thing'.
We've been gymming and eating fruit and salad and I feel pretend healthy. (:
Frank brought his guitar, mr jones, and it felt like being reunited with an old friend - felt marvelous, though yes I do realize it's an inanimate object. But It has stolen my heart. Lol.

Oh I hope this joy never ends.
Being in such close proximity with some of my fav ppl just makes an experience like this all the more awesome.. (:

On a less cheery note, I found out I may be latex intolerant. My hands are so disfigured right now.. :(
Silver lining - I've taken a liking to the blue gloves. They make me feel like a smurf, lending a helping hand and being adorable. *scrapes tongue* lol.

Some of us came back for the wkend, many to get stuff, and some for other commitments.
For me, it was mainly to see iggybutt again, who's here for a wk during her midsem break. Wanna spend time w mum, dad and yangster too of course!! She might not know it yet (since she doesn't read my blog unless she's 'really really really bored', and since I'll never ever tell her so in person), but she's been my best friend and longest-standing one too, all my life.
So yea, this trip back wasn't optional at all..

And so I kissed study goodbye. >.<
Talking to Popo over FaceTime didn't quite help w my guilt, since she's always asking if I feel ready for the exams, and if I've been studying hard, and ends the call w a 'calls are expensive, bye!'. O.o
Ah well, I shall study hard this week!!!
And make dessert. (:

Today we went to a tulip farm! 'twas gorgeous.. (rawr iggybutt's boxing me >.< for I don't know what reason.. ) And then ikea, springvale (which is so big I've prob fulfilled my exercise quota for the week).
Did u know yellow tulips signify undying love?
Well now you do.

2011-09-18T00:02:00.003+10:00

Last day on earth.
Or life as i know it.
We'll be leaving civilisation tomorrow, and on to another adventure.

If only time could stand still, or at least slow down a little.
We're moving too fast, like being put on a threadmill set on high, making us run closer to the finish line while threatening to push us over the edge.
In a parallel analogy, it'd be like running across a rope bridge dangling across an erupting volcano, when the last plank has caught fire and there's no choice but to run towards the other side, clinging on for dear life to the sides of the bridge while your fate hangs delicately in the balance.

Both seem to spell doom.

Dinner with DRESSSS, minus D, was nice, and i was reminded of our noob beginnings where every day we sank deeper into this dental world.
We've come a long way from 'pillars of fauces'.. (:
Looking back, i'm kinda proud of where we've gotten, and what it took to get here.
And without a doubt, i'm sure shepparton is gonna fun, though i probably sound like i'm dreading the whole thing.
It's heartening to know that though we're currently living in a period of uncertainty, we're hardly alone.

I get by with a little help from my friends.

2011-09-15T13:39:00.005+10:00

lol they're gooooood.
dont care if its the actual translation. haha.

ive had that song in my head alllllll day.

Em
Soon as I can blink, you start to check it out
Em
Don't - stare at the women that are passin by
C B7
You try to act like you're not, But I can tell in your thoughts
Em
It's goin down~down~down

Em
Start to give me more of your attention, boy
Em
I've been hurt by your words, you made them short and cold
C B7
Im getting tired of this, so over dealing with this
Em
I hate it all all all all all

C D
Ooh ooh ooh ooh Where you lookin at
Am B7
Ooh ooh ooh ooh I'm right in front of you

(Chorus) Em
Cuz of you my heart is encased in armor
Em
Now I can fin'lly stand up to you
D
Your arrows are trouble X3
C B7
Aimin at my heart, now you shoot shoot shoot, but I hoot \x3
Em
Left me scarred from words that you filled with poison-
Em
I Even gave forgiveness a chance
D
Knew you were trouble x3
C B7
Waited for my heart, tried to shootx3, but I hootx

G
Aah aah

Em
You say you fell for some other girl's dangerous trap (THE LUCIFER)
Em
No more excuses better get it straight before it's too late
C B7
with the way that you are No you won't get very far
Em
Don't even try try try try try try

C D
Ooh ooh ooh ooh Who you kiddin, now
Am B7
Ooh ooh ooh ooh You ain't no cupid, boy~ no you're nooooooooooot

(Chorus)

Em Am
I'm letting you sink so just swim on your own
Em Am
I'm keepin you out of my life now for good
Em Am
Stop telling me lies that I don't wanna know
B7
Unlike you I'm gonna keep my arrows to myself

OOOOHHH!!!
(Chorus)

2011-09-13T21:25:00.002+10:00

for that same reason, today, it felt like all the post offices had closed down.
at least in the preston region. went on a wild goose chase with evan, trying to track down a post office so i could buy a stamp. google maps pointed us in multiple directions, but no matter where we looked, there didn't seem to be one open.
and so our 1.5hr lunchtime was reduced to 30mins, after all that getting lost.
we even found the Post business center/sorting headquarters.
after much trekking, we finally found one, hidden inside a pharmacy.

best of all, on our way back, we spotted the one we were originally meant to find - right across the road from the clinic.
we probably walked 2km just trying to find all the wrong ones.

what a day. :p

it's been a while since i received any fanmail.
came across a stack i'd stashed away, and it was a marvellous feeling.
miss you girls..

2011-09-11T22:05:00.003+10:00

i've always liked to feel safe.
safe is predictable,
safe is painless,
safe is pleasant, and anything else beginning with P.

but safe is also braindead,
safe is boundaried,
and safe is boring.

p and b; opposites.
throw in a J and you get a good sandwich.

what am i trying to say?
i'm glad someone else figured it out for me.

that's not what i was made for either.

i wanna get out there.
i wanna get thrown in the deep end, and see where i end up.
maybe i'll end up on that tropical island i've always wanted to visit.
who knows, after all that swimming and struggling to stay afloat, there'll be a super positive upside - getting saved by a bunch of jolly pirates, a hot lifeguard, or even a giant seaturtle..

maybe i'm just dying to go for a swim. that's one thing i wanna do when i get to shepp. that's one way to drown my sorrows anyway.

ok. time for something positive..

now THAT's true love.
(:

2011-09-08T21:50:00.004+10:00

“Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow emotionally and intellectually. They force us to stretch ourselves and our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first. And when we don’t feel comfortable, we don’t feel ready.”

Every day feels like a new deep end. Kids especially aren't my thing.
Aren't I meant to feel overconfident to the point of cockiness at this point in time?
I musta missed my dose when everyone else got theirs, and got served humble pie instead.
Haha who am I kidding..

2011-09-01T11:17:00.003+10:00

Sitting in the library, n this girl was at my table. Then this couple came and joined us and chattered on about dhp receptors and scrambled to find a powerpoint for their macbooks, and the girl moves off.

The guy, who had planted himself in the seat next to the moved girl watched to see if he'd been the reason for her departure, and sure enough, she made her way up the stairs in search of greener pastures.

Guy: gee I didn't think she'd move.. That's awkward..
His gf: *rolls eyes* as though it's a common occurrence.

Lol.
What is the proper library etiquette anyway?
Is it ok to sit next to a random stranger at a large table when the rest of the table is empty?
Studying with strangers is fun(ny).

2011-08-31T23:07:00.006+10:00

true, that.

of joy.
(:

what a crazy day.
primary care.
research meeting.
blind-date book transaction.
economic experiment.
archi building exploration.
dinner with yi.
endo seminar.
brain-fried but happy.

i got my first paycheck ever. and the circumstances were unreal. :D
about 6 months ago, shuf told me abt this experiment business. they pay you according to how well you do in their 'experiment'.
a week ago i got an email from them saying there was a session available.

having a cat-killing curiosity, i just couldnt resist, despite being a non-econs major.
heck, i don't know a thing about commerce,
other than opportunity cost - the next best thing/opportunity forgone.

anyway, sitting outside the waiting room, i spoke to some randoms who would otherwise check their phones and tap around to show they were busy people.
i was in a sea of commerce people.
this sea was 20people large.

the experiment began. and it differs each time apparently.
we were given a set of instructions to read, after which we had to fill out a quiz, to show that we understood the terms and concept.
i didnt understand a thing despite reading it twice.

today's activity was based on a synthesized stock market.
we were meant to buy and sell shares as we saw fit, and after each round, the shares would bring dividends (this value was randomised, ranging from 0 to 60), and after several rounds, we would be taxed for each share we held (which would potentially result in a negative value).
we were to weigh the pros and cons of buying and selling shares during each round, with the aid of a fairly comprehensive table (only so after i found out it exists) which included 'expected holding value' (the value of your shares at the end of the 15 rounds, inclusive of estimated dividends, plus share value, minus taxes).
i didn't have a clue.
and i flunked the quiz 3 times, and was the last person to successfully complete the damn thing. >.<
the dude running the show musta figured i was a dud. lol.

all i understood is that somehow, this fake money was converted into real money, at an exchange rate of 120(fake money) = 1AUD.

that was me - no commerce background. no clue how shares work. stock market noob. stressed when doing math. questionable monetary sense/cents.

anyway, game on.
and game over.

i was pleased. and the guy running the show was as surprised as i was.
him: 'congratulations. top scorer of the day!'
me: 'no way. i screwed up the quiz so badly i thought you would kick me out of the program..'
him: 'haha'
me in my head: 'gee.. that was your cue to say "not really". now i know it's true..'

soooooo happy.
and the rest is a blur.
my first glimpse of the stock market. hopefully it doesn't make my head big.
(:

2011-08-30T18:31:00.005+10:00

Father's day is coming, and I just received an email from jeanswest saying 'get dad covered - 30% off all online purchases'.
Real swell, except that the guy modeling 'dad' clothing looks younger than/about my age.
Kudos to teenage dads, but hmm, no thanks.

In other news, I'm sitting here with my hair literally dripping wet cos I left my towel in the bathroom and someone else is in it.
If my hair were shorter, it would not be able to form a steady trickle like it can now - look it's a waterfall. I walked to the dustbin and squeezed my hair like I would a mop, and I probably coulda filled a 5ml cup - perhaps i exaggerate, but that's more than what a patient with xerostomia can produce anyway. What is this, a sponge?? Why does it retain so much water?!? Well, that's because, boys and girls, hair is porous.. And the less hydrated it is, the more brittle it'll become.. So much so that if you put it in a tub of water, damaged dry hair will sink, while healthy hair should float, according to some shampoo ad on tv. Someday I'll test that theory out, though I may not like the result.

Yay. Bathroom's free. Don't hafta drip-dry anymore. (:
Wonder how wild animals must feel, having no towels and just walk around dripping wet till they air-dry, or enter a wind-tunnel.
It's nice to be human.

2011-08-27T20:15:00.004+10:00

true that. :D

i had a depressing thought.
after graduation, do you think you'll meet up with many people?

i'd like to think we would, but really, we'll eventually drift like polar ice caps.
guess i'm just being a bipolar bear again..

i did a count, and there'll be a handful of people i wanna stay in touch with.
but there'll only be few i know i'll actually keep in touch with.
the likelihood of making time to meet up on the regular is low.
different lives, different place.
and hindsight tells us that with each stage in life, there'll be a new set of people in our lives, and people inevitably move on.

oh wells.

2011-08-25T07:59:00.000+10:00

Trains are good for sleeping, because of their rocking motion.
HOWEVER, their bumping motion is absolutely excruciating for anyone needing to pee.
And today, that was me.

I've never given it thought, but being stuck on a train for an hour isn't as easy as it looks. First of all, you mustn't miss the train, since the next one that comes may arrive 30mins later. And that would make you late.

Another fatal error would be to not visit the bathroom when you can, after thinking hydration is good for you and drinking 2 glasses of fluids in the morning before departing.

Well, that's my story today.
With 15stops to go, I can only keep my legs crossed and hope for the best.
Trainrides have never felt this bumpy and I'll probably be drained from all the stress by the time I reach the clinic, but again we deal with it.

The alternative would be to hop off at the next stop and answer nature's call, but be 30mins late for clinic, which would look bad after ytd's fiasco. So it's not a real alternative, really.

Why do women have such small bladders?!
This could be another one of those times where being a guy would be so much easier, but then again, guys burst to go too sometimes.

Urgh. Why can't trains have bathrooms in them?

2011-08-24T19:38:00.002+10:00

another epic day.
3 hours' travel for 2hours' clinic.
according to my dear partner, today wasn't our day.
you can only imagine.

today was meant to be paeds day at knox (half a day anyway, since research was alloted the afternoon), and there was a staff meeting scheduled from 9-11am.
this sparked the bright idea of leaving half an hour later and catching the train from MC instead of flinders.
the plan i photographed seemed to differ though, but i went with it anyway.
the man had a plan.

this change of scene didn't bode well for me, since any sane person would expect at least one escalator to be headed in each direction where there are 2 escalators.
but NOOOOOOOO.. MC's escalators all headed upwards.
'WTH, is it april fool's day?! they don't even have the option of stairs!! -.-'
it was already 7.32, the time the train was scheduled to leave, and i had issues getting downstairs. the only stairs i saw would take me half a step down, to the gents or ladies.
and then i saw it - the only down escalator, which led one floor down.
to get 2 floors down, you had to elbow through the rush-hour crowd about 25steps before you got to the next set of escalators, conveniently hidden behind a pillar you couldn't possibly see through.
the relief that washed over me when i saw tyrone still standing there at the platform is something i havent felt in a while.
'lucky for you, the train's late', he said.

unfortunately, this wasn't quite the case.
the delayed train cost us the chance to get onto the train we were planning to catch to Knox, so in short, we were screwed.

tardiness aside, this change of scene made for a more-interesting-than-usual day than our usual 9to5.
as we made our way to the right platform at flinders, we noticed that there too, both the escalators only travelled in one direction - upwards.
essentially, if you wanted to get down, you'd have to take the steps.
as if having to manouvre the narrow stairway isn't bad enough, the pressure of running for a departing train would make this design deserving of the label 'STUPID'.
it's just an accident waiting to happen.

true enough, 5minutes after that passing comment, we heard a thud, and a roll, and a smack on the ground. a lady had fallen head over heels, down the stairs.
(nope, not cupid's doing, unfortunately)
few rushed to help her, and there wasn't much room for us to fit anyway, in such a narrow stairway - so i held the coffee of the first lady who rushed to help and used my free hand to try and lift her too. the fallen angel couldn't right herself and took a while to snap out of her trance. poor thing.
see what stupid train station escalator direction allocations do to people?
it's retarded. and someone should really change that.
the people behind the fallen angel were shocked, and many cringed at the imagined pain, but the impatience was evident and some sighed/clucked their tongues, willing their train not to leave since their only path down was sealed by the semi-conscious lady.
truly tragic.

anyway, after leaving an hour later than usual, we got there an hour later than we used to. logical enough.
the train was jam-packed, and we listened in on conversations, rather than have to make our own. highschool drama, office woes.
i was trying not to listen, and though my eyes were staring at the ground, my ears wouldn't shut, so we heard it all.

'International students kinda can't really be in my course.. Well they can't.. Unless they're really really really good at English.'
[lol seriously? she needs to get some international friends to better her worldly education. we have english proficients amongst us, and i'm not sure what university other than swinburne resides in glenferrie, but whatever her course is, it should not warrant such a statement. no offence to swinburne and its student. geez.]

we got to ferntree gully, and hopped on the first bus that came.
however, it did not take the right turn it usually takes, and went pass a cemetry instead. *danger danger*
and so we walked back to the station (-.-), and made a dash for the right right-turn bus just as it was about to leave.
olympics, i'm ready for you.

as if our day wasn't already twistier than a pack of twisties, bus 693 took a different route. O.o
but again, we managed.
after all that we'd been through today, a change of bus-stop wouldn't send us home crying.
as we walked towards the clinic entrance, T said he felt sorry for me for trusting him.
there was nothing to be sorry about though. it was actually pretty fun.
the staff meeting was no big deal anyway, most of it being a sales pitch to do with twitter and yammar, so missing most of it didn't bother me at all.
i was drained from the adrenaline rushes though, despite getting 30mins more sleep than usual.. (not worth it, on hindsight)
the pitch was prematurely ended cos a lady in the back fainted, which only added to a dramatic morning. she was then sent to hospital after serious convulsions. poor lady. hope she's alright now.

thus began another dramatic day.
why is every day at knox coated in drama?!

the daily commute has certainly opened my eyes, and i'd like to retract every tongue-cluck, head-shake and comment at anyone whose ever been held up by transport.
i was ignorant back then. please forgive me.

2011-08-23T21:26:00.003+10:00

it musta been national check-their-metcard day today.
the streets were crawling with inspectors.
they were EVERYWHERE.

and thus marked a good day as nothing brings as much satisfaction as getting my card checked when i know for sure i've beeped it like a good traveller should.

however, today, unlike other days, i experienced a record high of 3 checks in a day.
once on the tram there, once on the train there, and again on the train back.
if it's not a set-up, i'm not sure what is.

i witnessed about 5 people get booked, and it felt similar to being read your Miranda rights, only in a less dramatised setting. people bobbed and weaved and one guy even played the 'i speak no english' card, but each of them was dealt with semi-severely. the quickening of breaths and near-hyperventilations made them seem quite pitiful, but we all know no one should ride public transport for free.

last week on my way to panch, i had a 'neardeath' experience with the inspectors.
in my sleep-deprived stupor, i'd forgotten to beep my card, and just sat on the tram, dazed.
unfortunately, several stops before i was due to alight, a hoard of coat-wearing badge-flashing hoverers swooped onto the tram, ready for the kill.
at this point, i realised what trouble i was in and snapped out of the trance. i felt like harry potter, amongst a set of dementors (no offence to them), as my breath got drawn away and my quaking fingers turned to ice.
inside me, a packet of adrenaline musta burst under the intense pressure, as i calculated the risk of alighting (which would make me late for panching) versus staying on and risking not having a valid card and getting booked.
[fight or flight, the way i see it]
hands pulsating, i fumbled for my purse and conjured the myki. but was it too late? a she-hoverer materialised in front of the seated guy who faced me. he too had forgotten to beep and tried explaining his folly and attempted to charm her into letting him off. most surprisingly, she gave in.
and while she was distracted, i contorted my arm towards the beeper directly behind me and the deed was done. i lived to see another fine-less day. phew.
the she-hoverer didn't even flinch, though she must have noticed. she didn't bother checking my card and just trotted on by.
what didn't kill my heart hopefully made it stronger.
-.-
don't try this at home, kids.

in other news, we're not yet knoxious at knox. (:
i got grilled so much i almost became toast. it felt good.

2011-08-22T20:16:00.005+10:00

but according to justin, it doesn't matter.
it's poisoned. lol.

first day at knox.
my alarm didn't ring. because it was a new alarm category i set on my let-down of a phone, and the default 'ring' is 'none', until you adjust it to marimba or some dodgy noisy wake-up tune.
and so i woke up when dad knocked my door to check i was good to go, but no.. i'd just been roused from dreamland, still 5hours in sleep debt cos of saturday night's fun.
urgh. so dead can.
by some miracle, i was out of the house in 8 minutes flat.
that was after skipping breakfast, grabbing EVERYTHING, fumbling for my phone in front of the lift, ripping my loupes paperbag, dashing home for a substitute, and growling. great start, ruixi.

still, i kept my chin up.
the motivation: i didn't have a backup plan. only searched up one itinerary and photographed it. so if i missed the train, DOOM.
so we suck it up, and deal with it, princess.

thankfully, i made it in time, and one piece. my hair was just-outta-bed-ish, since i'd slept with it wet, and didn't have time to brush it, but i (and everyone else whose eyes may have been scarred) lived.

spent 11hours straight with my knox partner.
i suppose after 5 days, we'll prob know each other pretty well. lol.
it made me realise how old we are getting.
i mean.. most people plan to marry by age 30. and have kids between then and age 35, since >35 increases risks of birth problems and defects.
and apparently, being male doesn't make the marriageable age too different, since a larger age gap would mean a semi-generation-gap, and fewer things in common.
and then there's how to know if he/she's in it for you, or your money.
the solution: better find mr/mrs right before we turn world-famous!!
perhaps we were generalising, but this was all pretty cool.

it seems everyone around me is wondering the same thing, and looking at the potential expiry date.
last century, we were worried about catching pokemon or whether braces made us look dorkier.
it seems we've come a long way. don't you think?

2011-08-20T16:31:00.003+10:00

listen.

literally.
she's amazing.

i wish i had something else to blog about as well, but i'm just sitting on our red couch, staring at the clear blue sky, wondering what to blog about, that would be less mundane than anything that'd previously crossed my mind but has since evaporated from my memory.

ever felt tongue-tied, at a loss for words, or just not knowing what to say?
this week i felt a fair bit of that. so much i wanna say, yet phrasing it takes time, and some of it ends up in the trash after contemplating and second-guessing. and then when i think i have the right sequence, it all comes up like verbal diarrhoea. it's quite disorientating.. but i guess such things take time, and practice. dental stuff, people stuff, everyday admin stuff. perhaps its the need of more sleep that causes my poor brain to malfunction. knox week's gonna be bloody marvellous.

on another note, people who hold lifts for others, even when they're in a massive hurry, are inspirational. they make for a great day.

i'd been taught to do so since my more childish days, but going out of my way to make someone else's travel more convenient, yet getting not so much as an acknowledgement, let alone a 'thank you', and ending up delayed, made me less inclined to extend a hand and hold that lift.
i still do it, but sometimes, i pick the ones who'll be lucky enough to ride the lift with me instead. that's being judgemental and self-righteous, i presume. but sometimes, it just doesn't feel worth it under those other circumstances. some people lack manners. it seems, so too do i.

at the rdhm, the change in atmosphere is palpable when someone does hold the lift open. a collective sigh resounds when the hobbling old couple adds to the 13person toll, and hit the button for the first floor. what's your hurry, mr 6th floor?

during the studybreak, i haunted baillieu for a while, and always, i'd arrive at the lift just before the door closed. however it'd magically reopened, and its lights set off a halo-aura on the kind stranger of the day. one small gesture from one stranger to the next, kinda warms up the icy world we live in, don't you think?

these days, i'm just thankful to have a working lift at all.
the culprit still remains at large, and i kinda wish they had the cigarette box finger-printed so we could identify him and perhaps send him to commonsense school for a day. too much CSI, i'll say.. :p

2011-08-18T21:35:00.002+10:00

OMG the lift got fixed today!
but i didnt know and took the stairs outta habit.
they managed to undent part of the indentation on the life, but it's still scarred for life, and scratches the wall when it opens.
they also painted bright yellow hazard lines on the steps so the steps look more rugged and cool. i think i'll stick to taking the stairs from now on. daily exercise vs once a wk zumba.

i'm so full some would call it the equivalent of carrying a foodbaby. the waiter was extremely nice. after i'd asked him for my fav potato side-dish umpteen times throughout the evening cos bro kept finishing it, he brought me a super-massive dish full of it, for me to take away.
and so now i'm fat and full. and happy.

tetris is freakin addictive.
so much so that i almost didnt mind that half the patients booked in today didn't show up.
my pAnchant for mario tetris makes up for the dislike of panch.
punny.

2011-08-16T20:12:00.002+10:00

'is it the look in your eyes? or is it this dancing juice?'

lol that song just makes you wanna move your feet, regardless of how reluctantly that is.
some dude was pumping it outta his car.
at the crossroads, another dude carrying his new bicycle handlebar (not his new bike) waiting to cross the road chuckled out load when he heard it and sang along.
noticing this, i couldn't stop grinning either, though i hadn't yet figured out the name of the song.
contagious.

2011-08-15T13:33:00.004+10:00

yeow.. what a dodgy start to the day. after rushing across REB and willing the tram to speed up knowing fully well it wouldnt, i got there in time to find out that the supervisor was ill and clinic was cancelled.
oh well. guess we just gotta make lemonade.

still, catching up with people you never see, ever, is always a bonus. so after parting ways with kat, frankenstein n i went in search of a smoothie to cheer ourselves up, which evolved into a second breakfast.

wise cracks like 'the treasure doesn't do the hunting' didn't go down so well, and my poor friend was so stunned, he had the look of just being punched in the face. LOL. good times.

in other news, dad's here! (:
but he's sleeping, as predicted. so i haven't said hi. yet.

anyway, my current urge to blog came from this:
i was reading the paper while sitting on my room floor and found this strange long impossibly curly hair.
it's about 20cm long, looks strangely like pubic hair, feels like wire and has split ends (even in the middle).
so it's too long to be a pube, too curly and wiry to be asian, and too split to be mine. (i'd first thought it coulda been one of my headhair, pulled out after an attempt to straighten it went awry, but that's so unlikely, since i can't even get my hair to wave, let alone curl like spiral pasta..)
so strange.
whoever's it is, she may need professional hair help.

i need a haircut.

2011-08-14T21:22:00.002+10:00

'I think it's nice that Voldemort always waits until the end of the school year to try and kill Harry.' - someone other than me.

HAHAHA.. :D
Despite his flaws, Voldemort really cares about Harry’s education.
What a great guy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news, there is now a dent in the lift door, cos some idiot with anger-management issues probably got angry that the lift didn't work.
"HULK ANGRRRRYYYYYY. HULK FIXXX THISSSSSSSSS."

only problem is, gee whizz, he just made it worse.
now the door's never gonna be able to open, let alone close. forget about it moving.
what kind of place is this?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In better news, i compiled a list of thing that make me happy, so that i can come here, read the list, and chill. rather than vent my anger on a poor defenceless metal door, which only makes a poor repairman's life more miserable, and neighbours' lives more stair-filled and healthy.
URGH. there's one thing i won't miss when i move away from the city..

my happy list:
1) when my phone turns psychic and plays the song on my mind.
2) when it pours while i'm meant to stay home.
3) turning the bend while driving, when it feels like a rollercoaster ride.
4) double (full-arch) rainbows in the sky.
5) the safety of a car in the rain.

6) the smell of freshly cut grass.
7) trying on another perfect dress.
8) seeing people run to each other.
9) the feel of fresh laundry.
10) running into long-lost friends.

if i write one more list today, i'll declare myself ocd. lol. 3 so far. >.<

2011-08-13T08:56:00.002+10:00

you said it sheldon!

it seems common sense ain't all that common these days.
it seems perhaps it never was.

i woke up to mum coming back from collecting the papers from downstairs, and she was huffing and puffing, and came in to check if i was awake, so she'd have someone to rant to. thankfully (for us both), i was.

'the lift is jammed again! (it'd been jammed last wkend, and had thankfully been fixed within a day) some idiot jammed a cigarette box under the lift so now we can't even call it from upstairs! how can people be that stupid?'

in my groggy state, i thought back to the many times our neighbours have ruined lift-travelling, sleeping, rubbish-disposal, and even civil-living for us.
yes, not everyone's as brilliant as you'd hoped they'd turn out.
not in this block anyway.

it wasn't more than 2 weeks ago that some genius had clogged up the rubbish chute, causing us (the poor, pitiful and not to mention livid victims) to have to dispose of our garbage on the ground floor personally, AND live with the stinking reminder that we were amongst not so brilliant co-inhabitants.
a chance encounter with the chute-repair dude brought forth an explanation.

'some idiot shoved a heater down the chute - in its cardboard box too, no less! how he even got it down there i don't know. how he'd imagine it could make it down the chute's even more of a mystery. and now getting it out would be a miracle.'
lol. 10/10 job satisfaction.

thankfully, he managed to unclog this festy problem. and no prizes for guessing that the chute-clogger was that chinese dude who just moved out. my common sense woulda told me to just take it directly to the garbage room downstairs, since a box would never fit down a chute that kinks at every floor. why risk being an idiot, right?
in my opinion, chute-dude ought to be shot.

luckily for him, i don't write the laws in this town.

back to today's new issue.
it sounds like smoker/chimney guy was too lazy to dispose of his ciggy box, and wondered (in a high-pitched voice too i'm sure), 'Ooooh, i wonder if the box can fit through that hole! it looks just right, and that way i won't hafta take my trash back upstairs, even though there'll be a chute right when the lift door opens. nah, i can't wait that long. i'm an idiot. i'll just push this through the crevice (perhaps that word's too deep for this monologue) and it'll then disappear like magic'.

*moments later*
'uhoh. i think the lift's stuck now. how was i to know?'

-.-

i suppose we'll be taking the stairs all weekend again and losing weight.
guess i hadn't reached my exercise quota for the week after all.

2011-08-13T00:06:00.003+10:00

my throat is so dry i can't figure out why.
but i'm too lazy to get a drink.
so i'll just sit here and complain about it,
and swallow saliva till it feels better.

lol. what a weekend bum!

2011-08-10T15:46:00.004+10:00

They say there're 5 stages of grief:
1)Denial and Isolation.
2)Anger.
3)Bargaining.
4)Depression.
5)Acceptance.

Today i had my driving test, and went through each of those, minus the bargaining bit..
It's strange that a grown person like me should be grieving over a small thing like this, but then it all seemed so sudden and severely disappointing.

Denial and Isolation.
(At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.)
i felt mortally wounded, and probably went into a state of shock.
my phone sat dead in the bag the whole trip home and only later did it finally sink in.

Anger.
(The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.)
'why did it have to rain'. 'lousy windscreen wipers'. 'moody bitchy examiner'. 'bringer of good weather, my arse'. 'she never warned me i'd have to turn this many times, im getting dizzy and annoyed as it is'. 'we shoulda rehearsed signage'. 'freakin weather'. 'why wasn't i psyched for this'.

Bargaining.
(Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?" )
N/A.

Depression.
(The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.)
i got home with hunger in my belly but felt like throwing up instead, as though the universe (and the tight examiner) had wronged me. wanted to cry, wanted to scream, wanted to admit defeat. however, i refuse to take public transport forever.. geez.

Acceptance.
(This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.)
a wise man said today, 'a driving test is one of the most inconsequential failures you'll ever face in life'. and in the grand scheme of things, i think he's right.

Life, and its nearly hits and misses.
at the doctor's, i was still reeling from defeat. (like come'on girl.. snap out of it already -.-)
the rain had decided to try and dissolve my shoes, and i was gonna rage at the weather again. and then i saw a girl with visual impairment sitting in the waiting room. smiling at no one in particular, she mighta just been happy to be dry and indoors. she smiled as though the weather didn't mean anything. she was happy and that made me happy.
i reckon that was the most infectious thing in that clinic. (:

and now all the bitterness and pleasure has just gone away.
good grief!

2011-08-09T22:05:00.003+10:00

smile. even if the camera isn't pointing at you.

there's certainly been every reason to.
my mum knows how to use the printer now, and can email her own attachments.
my dad is a ray of optimism.
my bro and i watched clone wars together, and wolverine and the xmen is back on tv!
my clothes still fit and my wardrobe is neater.
my arts and crafts skills arent too abysmal.
my dreams are somewhat entertaining, and in it i even saw those old blown-up kindergarten pics we'd purchase at each year's graduation. i was darn cute. no duh.

i dont rmb listening to much michael learns to rock ever, but the songs are pretty soothing, without having to give it much thought. came across 'complicated heart' in a bread shop and i've had it on replay all of today.

'Even if you want to go alone
I will be waiting when you’re coming home
If you need someone to ease the pain
You can lean on me, my love will still remain'

why do love songs and sad songs sell so well?
all the ones about sunshine, rainbows and butterflies just don't have the same appeal. lol. perhaps people identify better with pain and sorrow.

growing up, we're reminded to 'smile' and 'love'. i've wondered why we'd even have to be reminded, if we've been so classically conditioned from the start. however, we need no reminder when wallowing in sorrow and self-pity. are we just being human again?

2011-08-08T21:45:00.003+10:00

STUDYBREAK.
the time to break from tradition and study.

if only it were as easy as putting on a pair of glasses and falsely believing you're making a fashion statement. and studying.

on another note, i somewhat quite dislike you a lot.
so THERE.

i've been having strange dreams every day for a week now.
when will it start to end?
car-chasing, blue velvets, sniping, farmers, a bathroomful of snakes and desperately needing to pee, spasm fish and yakuza gayness.
it's a wonder i don't wake up a zombie after.. each of these felt really lifelike.

as usual, we had to catch the bad guy. the driver got shot and had his heavy leg on the accelerator, and the dude in the passenger seat went nuts. so i had to either contort and drive from the backseat, or jump in the dead guy's lap. the choice was obvious.

the sniping one was a little unusual. we lived underwater and were under attack, so sniping had to take place from underwater. we wore water-proof war paint to boot. too cool. and when we ran outta bullets, some dude whipped out modified nerfguns, and underwaterworldpeace was restored.

urgh.. i wanted to update my dream diary but it's now missing.
so instead you had to suffer through this. you're welcome.

2011-08-07T20:33:00.002+10:00

for when i turn alcoholic *melts* :

Lychee Saketini Poptail

· 1 ½ cup limeade

· ¾ cup sake

· 16oz lychee, peeled and seeded (approximately 20-22 regular size lychees)

· 8 oz honeydew, pureed (approximately ¼ of a regular size honeydew)

· Optional: Raspberries to garnish

1. Place limeade, sake, lychee and honeydew in a food processor or blender and process or blend until pureed, about 1-2 minutes. Pour mixture through a medium strainer.

2. Pour strained mixture into popsicle forms —add raspberries now if you are garnishing the popsicles—and freeze for about 2 hours or until mixture starts to solidify enough to hold a popsicle stick upright.

3. Insert popsicle sticks and finish freezing popsicles overnight.

4. To release popsicles run hot water on the outside of popsicle molds for a 2-3 seconds.

2011-08-06T14:37:00.004+10:00

too cute.

ytd was our group's last official clinic day at the dent hosp, and it was sad having to say our goodbyes all week. well wishes, pats on the back, and thank yous - the stuff that make your heart go 'aww' and wish it weren't the end.

onward to working in a community clinic, where you see randomised patients with no expectation/chance of seeing them again in your lifetime. it's interesting, constantly meeting people for the first time, but it's also saddening in that there'll be no follow-up on whatever rapport or treatment was started.
it's like with hi-bye friends, where merry faces greet each other, knowing fully well no responsibility needs to be taken for whatever promises are made to 'meet up again soon!', having it in the back of your mind that the likelihood is zilch+1.

if anything, i'd prefer the relationships that'll last beyond expectations, where you'd actually be bothered to pull yourself together and scrape yourself off whichever floor, just to meet up with those people. i.e, overcome any obstacles - mainly laziness, in my world..

i had a driving lesson again today, and there was a twang in my heart when
i realised i might not see my instructor again after my test this wednesday (fingers crossed it all goes well). i feel as though much credit for however i drive goes to her.

i didnt like my first instructor, since i was scared of not only the road, the car and fellow road-users, but of him and his smell too. he was turkish and once had his electric saw leaking gasoline in the boot or something weird like that. there was every reason to hold my breath, if not for the fact that it'd be fatal. he needed a bath. and so did his car. i'm glad those days are gone.

'let's see how far we've come..'

2011-08-02T23:05:00.001+10:00

hearts, feelings and niceties.
why do we have to have them?

rawr.
life could be simpler.

2011-08-01T17:34:00.002+10:00

we used to be so small.
time, genes and a little stretching they call exercise made us so big (or medium, in my case).

i was filing my ielts results together with all the certificates i'd accumulated and kept away in a shocking pink folder, and i had to make room so that that flimsy piece of paper could have a pocket of its own to live in.

i then decided to shove all my swimming certs in the same pocket instead of let them vainly occupy one each. as i pulled them out one by one, mum exclaimed 'you used to be so small. it was almost dark when we first took you for one of those and you looked so small in that 40m pool. we worried you wouldn't make it.'

thankfully, i did not know her thoughts at the time, and went on my merry way, no doubt drinking gutfuls (if it's mouthfuls, should it be gutfuls or guts-full?) of water as newbies do.
my only (biggest) worry was whether the ppl swimming ahead of me had weak bladders and would pollute the water i was about to swim into.
i didnt like public pools. all these randoms would go in fully clothed and my eyes would widen in dismay. of course, double standards didnt apply when we learnt to thread water and used pyjamas to make air floats to keep ourselves from sinking to the depths of the pee-infested waters.. (don't get me wrong. public pools are those that no one seems to keep clean. they're different to private public pools, such as those in country clubs, which smell so strongly chlorinated you feel like you're about to shrivel up into a blonde prune. however, the diving board made up for it.)
another reason public pools hadn't agreed with me was i'd once seen a floater floating in the middle of one, and didn't know if to laugh or cry.
thankfully, we only went to these for swimming exams.

oh what i'd give to go swimming right now..
that's one of the reasons i'm looking forward to shepp. it was my fav way to drown my sorrows, since alcohol made me a little weirder than usual.

2011-07-29T22:46:00.003+10:00

How does it feel to be different to me - are we the same?

We see things through these two eyes of our own, making of these visions what we draw from our own pasts.
We sense with our personalized heightened senses - I hear abstract pitches, while you decipher the missing ingredients.
So perhaps we can never really walk a mile in someone else's shoes. They don't fit us, and we'll end up with podiatry issues unmanageable.
But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try.

Today's chat kinda put in perspective the bits and pieces I'd had fragmented in my mind, and brought along bite-sized portions of someone else's yellow brick road. Letting the words come out relieved the pressure from the wine presser which ferments my sour grapes.
It's funny how we seem to be surrounded by other people who're drowning in a sea of uncertainty, yet so often, they get overlooked by our myopic vision and all we have room for is that creature we see in the mirror.
I take that back - there's nothing funny about that, so I apologize if you were expecting a joke.
(the only joke is that I'm typing this from my iPhone and I'm all thumbs.)

I hear that bad weather is no match for a sunny disposition.
I hope I heard right.

2011-07-28T20:58:00.002+10:00

lol.

i got my ielts results back.
and it appears my piechart and art-science fears were warranted.

there's been too much wondering about the meaning of life lately, and i'd say it's infectious. there's gotta be more to life than slogging your guts out to provide for tomorrow, and impressing people you don't even like. it seems my aspirations don't exist, namely cos i don't have many desires, and am pretty contented with whatever i've got and where i've been, which will no doubt work against me in a world where everyone strives to reach their full potential. but to what extent, and at what cost?

i just wanna be happy.
why can't we do both?

2011-07-24T22:06:00.002+10:00

eggs.
such eggstraordinary eggsquisite eggsamples of eggseptional eggsellence.

i rest my case.

eggnore me.
i was being neggligent.

on another note, life is unfair.
so what's new.
but we live, we learn, and we compromise.
we survive.

2011-07-18T21:12:00.004+10:00

today was bloody marvellous. (:
other than losing to sista all morning in chess and my current bout of strawberrycheesecake icecream overdose, everything else went according to plan, if not better.

i got to uni in 10 mins flat.
my gp session went better than planned.

Dr K's not one to wait around for you after 5pm, so if you wanna get something done, you'd better hurry up and get it close to perfect. i was stressed, but all the DAs were so chatty i didnt have time to think about time pressure. it was awesome, talking about alcohol (and the lack thereof), food (didnt make it easier that i skipped lunch), and burkas (which put plainly, none of us were really fussed about). crown prep, temp crown, impression, cementation. bam. and to top it all off, i had fun. the icing on top was when my patient said, 'i'm usually scared as hell to go to the dentist, but today i wouldn't mind staying a little longer', when we were done. (:

since most of my posts seem to be rants, i just had to document this day where i didn't feel a new wrinkle forming.

i can't wait for wednesday!
and lol.

2011-07-17T20:41:00.003+10:00

tonight's just not my night.

sista shot me in the eye with a nerf gun. admittedly, i'd shot her in the bum just moments before. but still, owwww.
bro just disabled my phone for an hour, in his routine bid to 'crack the code'. my over-intelligent phone put itself in lockdown and now i feel handicapped and vulnerable.

and i can't believe we're going back to clinic tmr.
i miss back to base week already.

2011-07-16T15:43:00.005+10:00

woots.
1 test down, 1 more to go.

today began at 7am. it was frigid, 1 degree celsius to be exact, and i was shaking in my skin unsure if it was cos of the impending IELTS test.

when i walked into the building at abt 8, a strong smell hit, which FFN attributes to all the 'ah tiong's (chinamen) she crosses paths with. (is it racist for a chinese to think this way of another chinese?) i guess it's to do with poorly dried and twice-reworn clothes. we were herded like cattle in lifts to the 6th floor, and there the adventure began.

first up was the listening. i'm not sure if it was my imagination, but the chinese girl next to me with the golden hair seemed a bit confused, perpetually scratching her head. she scratched so hard that i could hear her dandruff coming off. gross. it probably affected my listening. jokes aside, the test was crazy, and people seem to pick the worst times to sneeze. doesn't help that the recording doesn't get replayed. shouldn't take any listening tests in flu season.. then again, we shouldn't have to take tests at all. :p

reading was intense. goldengirl cursed and swore during the 40minute mark and i decided i'm not a fan. the scalp-scratching continued. i then realised we were sitting under the airconditioner, so whatever she had may have spread.

by writing time, i'd had quite enough of my neighbour. and as always, murphy's law was another self-fulfilling prophecy. i hadn't practiced any of the writing tasks, and all i knew was that shufen said piecharts are the worst. i'd also just read up on how to do an argumentative essay last night.
as fate would have it, we got a pie chart - about which i babbled and rambled until i felt i'd reached the right length - and a non-argumentative essay. i can't remember what the topic was word for word, but it was along the lines of how the arts are valued despite advances in science and technology, and what the arts are able to tell us about life that science does not. lol.

speaking was fun actually. everything was recorded on a dictaphone, which made it feel like i was being questioned at a police station, or getting interviewed, being such a bigshot obviously. we went down the path of animals (what's your favourite wild animal found in your country? do you think farming is important in your country? - like hello.. where i live, the wildest animals at the cats and dogs on the street. and that's exactly what i said), being alone (do you think it's important to have alone time? where do people go to be alone? how do people overcome the issue of space constraints in your country when wanting to be alone?), fitting in (in which age group do you think people think it is most important to fit in? what do you think of the things people do when trying to fit in?), and then the cherry on top - do you think our society is headed in the direction of being 'everyone for themselves' or working for the group's benefit?

twas pretty cool. and the lady couldn't get over the fact that my name is pronounced like racy.

next on my hitlist would be nailing reverse parallel parking. (:
it's crazy how i wanna learn how to reverse-park but my instructor says it's not impt since it's not part of my test.. she even says i needn't worry abt reverse parallel parking, since it's only a tiny portion of the test mark.

lol.. i imagine myself just driving round in circles in future hunting down the 'perfect' parking lot where i just drive straight in. -.- what good is having a licence if you can't park in any given lot?
legendary.

2011-07-15T21:13:00.002+10:00

rawr.

it's been ages since i've had to sit a listening test. i was probably 10.
a decade later, i'm to be put through the same auditory challenge. and tbh, i'm kinda excited.
if anything, i'm afraid my ability to listen has deteriorated. hopefully my ability to hear can make up for that. big-ears, you know..

writing isn't one of my best traits either. all i ever write are rants.

reading.. oh, reading. with an attention span of a goldfish, it's amazing i've managed to keep my library loan records out of the red. takes me forever to finish off any book, and that's if i crack them open at all.

and speaking.. unless to a select few, i'm usually on silent mode, so who knows if those words will string themselves together obediently as they escape from my lips, or dash out in all directions and hit a brick wall.

who'd have thought there'd be english tests in the real adult world?
certainly not the 10 year old me.

fingers crossed. (:

2011-07-12T23:02:00.002+10:00

'so when they come to me with their stories - folded neatly together like beautiful origami pieces with sharp edges - i shut up. words fall flat in the face of pain. in many ways, words tarnish grief. words are released with the sincere intention of somehow fixing another. but we are not called to mend each other - only to quietly hold each other in the brokenness. and maybe it is in that beautiful silence that we find healing.'

fingers crossed and palms pressed together that things get better for them.

2011-07-10T15:57:00.002+10:00

let's not change the subject; let's go chase the sunset.

one thing i know for certain. if you want to complain, there will always be something to complain about, whether it's feeling wronged, mistreated, overworked, unloved, misguided, annoyed, underaccomplished or just plain under the weather.

still, life's been pretty kind, in the form of borrowed ears, and unexpected shoulders. i'd miraculously averted yet another potential disaster. i can't wait for the family to come back and hopefully bring the sunshine back with them into my life. distraction from my other distractions severely needed.

when one lives alone, it becomes crystal clear that the day does indeed have 24hours to it. time spent watching videos while pounding cookies ticks away slowly. talking on the phone, taking an exceptionally long shower, or just clearing up a neglected corner of the house takes a mere fraction of the day.

it's strange how this feeling feels so foreign yet familiar.

i wish i could stop wishing.

2011-07-06T21:49:00.002+10:00

drained.
mentally, physically, and emotionally.

a full day of clinic today. was pushed to the near-limit.
examination+restoration for a patient who may be needing more than i can give.
massive restoration for another patient whose teeth are a total wreck tbh. dr DF was awesome and him being shocked by what i turned in at the end of the day was encouraging and endearing.
still, clinic never goes according to plan. it was meant to be a morning planning for a crown, and RCT in the arvo. look what happened.

after a day of pushing myself to the limit, i went for zumba.
and now i'm aching in places i never knew i had.
as long as it's not the head or the heart that's aching, it'll all be ok.

coming home to an empty house takes getting use to. i guess that's why i hang around for ages though i finished well on time.
cooked rice, did laundry, did the dishes - for the first time since the start of the year before family moved in.
the weather's awful, and sunshine in qld seems the better alternative.
why oh why do we have to choose between clinical experience and a holiday?
why oh why does life have to be full of choices? all the forks on the path of life only make me feel as sure of myself as the dozen options on a menu.

2011-07-04T17:53:00.004+10:00

take me to the place where you go, that no body knows if it's night or day..

just read a friend's blog. once upon a long time ago, we were close. however, how close that was, i know not. she was strong, she was a go-getter. now she can only wait for something better. hoping, watching, waiting.. her predicament is sad, but perhaps whatever she is hoping for is worth waiting for.

what can you say when someone is hurting inside? from the things that she's dying to say but can't let out?
be an optimistic onlooker? 'it's gonna happen soon, just you wait'
be a realistic cold-heart b*tch/voice of reason? 'if he felt that way you'd know by now'
or offer advice?
my best idea would be: put coldplay's line from violet hill, 'if you love me, won't you let me know', on repeat till inception occurs and he gets the idea. HAHA.

honestly, i'm the worst advisor ever. if u ever need advice, i'd refer u to my girls at the LHC. :p

*edit*
i found someone else who knows what to say.

The First Grader — Make a Difference

2011-07-03T11:47:00.000+10:00

this looks AMAZING.
havent wanted to watch a film this badly in ages, not even xmen first class.
i hope they show it in aussieland!

watch this trailer and Capella University will donate 50c to education programs worldwide. (:

2011-07-02T13:30:00.002+10:00

I dream too much. daydreams, nightdreams.. they're so realistic too.

Just last night i think i dreamt 3 dreams.

My first woke me up at 3am, wondering why on earth i'd dream about going to Shepp prematurely. That rotation was said to start in 2 days' time, even though my GP block wasn't meant to be done till july and i'm not set to go to Shepp till september. My case pres pts werent ready. And most of all, i was not packed!! and whoever was coming to pick me up was gonna arrive in 30mins. Somehow, my whole extended family was here and trying to help me pack, but i spent the 30mins pulling out stuff i didnt wanna take instead. By leaving time, my massive suitcase was completely empty. Thanks family.. Stressful dream.
does this show my excitement to get to shepp, and photograph those cows, or what?

In the second, i had a pet hamster. And then i received 2 more, that were the size of my 2 fists put together (ppl say the size of ur fists put together is the size of your brain, so these were brain-sized hamsters i guess). Anyway, these brain-sized hamsters were sooooooo cute. and quite brainy - able to open their own cage and go fo a walk, come back, and close the cage door too. Somehow, each day i ended up with 2 more hamsters, and soon i had 6 of these brain-sized hamsters that were fluffy as coconuts, and 1 small hamster, which i originally had. SOOOOO CUTE.
does that mean my subconscious wants a pet/hamster really badly?

The 3rd was something more mild. i was at a restaurant and batman came to visit. he was the chef.
LOL. my subconscious mind is awesome.

No wonder i feel sleepy even after sleep. My mind's being exercised to the max..
Frantic packing, chasing hamsters, and eating food/oggling at batman the chef.

Melbourne uni says 'dream large'. 'Dream real' would be more realistic.

2011-06-30T23:43:00.002+10:00

galpals make my heart swell.
dr F said we should learn to debrief so as to stay sane.
no wonder i'm still sane as, by my standards. teehee.

2011-06-25T22:39:00.005+10:00

trickiest driving lesson ever..

with a definite date for my DRIVING TEST registered, the clock ticks furiously as the time i have to get myself ready rapidly rushes away from me.

*newsflash*
rx close to 11pm: *scratches belly* i feel like a nutella sandwich..
ry: *gives her sister the 'you are weird' look and bursts out laughing*
rx: no duh.. it's english. i so feel like i'm about to be eaten..
ry: *hyena cackle*

anyway, that sandwich is about to be awesome.
(it's in my hand as i type this)

back to today's drive..
mum decided we should go check out the burwood site to see how construction is going, and since im not having a session with my instructor this wkend, she thought i should take the wheel today and transport all four of us to that faroff suburb.
thing is, i never expected it to be so fraught with hazards..

we took the car, the gps and the 2 kids. we as in mum and i. 2 kids as in sis and bro.

so far, i've only ever driven with 2 people in the car, each time a respectable and well-behaved adult and myself. with that sort of past experience in mind, i said yes to driving to burwood. alas, having the two monkeys chattering in the backseat and commenting on physically everything, along with flipping my hair through the headrest space as i waited for the stoplights to change colours - i clearly wasn't mentally prepared for this.

sif driving isnt scary enough having to keep an eye on the road, the speed limit, the speedometer, annoying jaywalking pedestrians, lane-changers, the next traffic light, roadsigns, cyclists, the gps instructions, and everything else around me, my siblings are added to the mix. fun.

not saying i didnt like having them there. they were a handful of laughs. it just wasn't what i'd expected.

once or twice i felt like a roadhog, driving at 80 in a 100km/h zone. mum told me i should probably pick up the pace. o.o no pressure indeed.

when we finally got to the site, there seemed no entrance to the unapparent showroom area. the site was clearly still a work in progress. i hadn't expected otherwise, since, being aussie, the site'd probably still be a work in progress till the night before expected completion.. expectations vs reality.
mum on the other hand was dismayed at how dismal the work had been.
i was just glad we got there in one piece, given my awesome driving skills.. not knowing exactly where i was going was nerve-racking, and a fistfull of gummybears calmed my nerves a little.

not wanting to cut short our little expedition, mum decided we (i) should drive to westfield doncaster. on the way there, we passed by boxhill, which brought back memories. anyway, mum wanted to reset the gps, so she leaned forward and did just that.
moments later, she was telling me off for having my turning lights on when i was on a straight road. this threw me into a frenzy, since i hadnt turned on any indicators.. o.o
after fiddling for a bit, i realised the indicators were indicating BOTH directions.. my dear mum had turned on the hazard lights while programming the gps.. my hazard perception'd certainly failed to perceive this one.. felt so maligned. >.<

at the westfield carpark, it was my first time driving in a crowded carpark (or a multistorey carpark at all), and i'd accidentally released the brakes for a split second at the entrance as i struggled to reach the button to get a parking ticket. i was so excited/stressed, i never had time to wind up the window the rest of the way, though it was a simple touch of a button, and i threw the ticket onto the dashboard in my excitement in a hurry to get back on the wheel lest the driver behind me get ticked off. i then failed to see the car in the next lane attempt to merge into mine as i moved forward when the barriers went up. -.- gimme a break man.. as i waited for him to make a move, i worried the barrier might come down on our car since we were sitting halfway under it.. oh what a worrywart.

thank goodness for the red/green indicator lights in the carpark to show which lots were vacant.. the first floor was completely full, so i took my first drive down a semi-circular ramp while sandwiched by cars. fun.. when i finally got into a lot, i heaved a massive sigh of relief and sank my teeth into more gummy bears.. oh thank goodness for stress-relieving gummy bears. >.<

when i got out of the car, i found vee and stacey standing in the distance squinting and trying to identify me. in a phonecall afterwards, vee exclaimed, 'wah, ruixi can drive already ah?!' lol she didnt know the half of it.

haha.. what a day.
i'm glad for that taster of what real driving is, not just following verbal instructions in preparation for a test of sorts.

as you can see, being a learner isnt easy at all.
so many stresses, so many unforseen circumstances, so much experience to be gained.
i no longer feel so cocky.

then again, maybe it's just me.. :p

2011-06-19T22:23:00.001+10:00

way too cute.. (:
i'm missing paeds already.

Her Morning Elegance / Oren Lavie

2011-06-16T19:32:00.000+10:00

2011-06-16T16:21:00.002+10:00

and thus ends our paeds rotation.

i'd have thought we'd be ending paeds with a bang, with pulpotomies, SSCs, and restorations to make the rotation complete. after all, we'd started with a full day of exams, and i for one expected it to be a buildup, in terms of ability and child management. however, it seems the people in charge of booking (if they have a system to this at all) decided we should come full circle and end it with yet another full day of exams (with the exception of the 1st 3 ppl in our group of 10).

i suppose i can't complain, cos during examinations, u get to fully interact with the patients, which isn't possible during more complicated procedures where u're pressed for time and may be on the brink of going on a strangling spree.

alas, my last kiddo day was jam-packed with 5 year olds. no older, no younger - five year olds.. out of the 4 five year olds scheduled, 3 showed up, and each was a handfull in their own way. child #1 wouldn't stop talking, so looking in her mouth was tricky. getting her to close her mouth was tough too, even more so come bitewing time. the little bundle of joy wouldnt sit still and perched herself precariously everywhere. #2 wouldn't say a word, which i can't blame her for and it made me sad. she was the perfect patient though. #3 was a little boy who was cheeky and liked dinosaurs, and so we got along. funny.

by the end of the day, i was well exercised, after all the 5yearold weights i'd been lifting onto and off the radiograph booth chair (i still dont know how to lower that thing so that little people can hop on). 5 year olds are tiny, and HEAVY. maybe i'm not as tanky as i'd thought.. :p

in this light, the final paeds day wasn't bad at all. treating kids is fun, provided u have the right kids. ok.. redundant statement. >.<

2011-06-12T11:40:00.002+10:00

pals - what would we do without them..

2011-06-09T21:47:00.002+10:00

the first time i saw this on tv was many years ago, probably when i was too young to hear the last 2 boxes of dialogue, so i was stuck with 2 thoughts.
1) 'since when were mickey and minnie poor? that's soooo sad. they shoulda bought each other piggybanks instead.'
2) 'now what're they meant to do with the box and the chain? i guess minnie just scored herself a new chain and a jewellery box..'

and now, 10 years later, i finally see reason.
wisened ol' me..

2011-06-08T21:50:00.002+10:00

today i went for zumba, like every other wednesday.
today, unlike every other wednesday, i went for the class at the melb public bath.

my body feels unexercised, but the grey matter of my brain is reeling in pain.
chua warned me before that it's the instructor that really makes the difference, and i've never had the chance to find that out first-hand - until today. i loved my usual class, but i'd never had comparison. at today's class at the MPB, some songs were the same, and left me feeling extra forlorn as the steps were different. in the same timezone a half-hour tramride away, the instructor and ppl i'm familiar with were dancing to the same song, only with different moves. and there i was, struggling as hell to understand the blond lady in front of me.

not saying she was good or bad, i'm probably just used to a different style. having the instructor expect you to be able to copy her in mirror-image was murder. it's easier (for me) to just copy her reflection, and from how everyone else's direction was off half the time, they might have agreed. throw in tunes with no particular beat, instructions that came at the same time you were meant to do those actions, a slippery floor from condensation of the downstairs pool, and other ppl around you unable to keep up/catch on.. what a recipe..

i've one last stamp remaining on my card for the usual zumba class, and getting another one's 120bucks, along with an hour's travel in the cold.. that's why today i decided to try out somewhere closer to home, only to grimace while my brain got exercised into overdrive.. pretty obvious choice really, although winter's coming, so i'll only get lazier and not go.

oh what an eye-opener today was. shall go jogging tmr arvo..

2011-06-04T17:32:00.000+10:00

ha.

2011-05-31T20:33:00.003+10:00

i just watched horse teeth extractions on Bondi Vet, and it was amazing. (:
Koda, the patient, is a 2year old dwarf horse, whose teeth were growing into his sinuses, having normal sized teeth in a smaller-sized head. it was affecting his breathing, and his eyes had a look as though they were about to pop out of his head. the surgery was performed by a surgeon who flew in from adelaide to melbourne, and he was to extract Koda's 2 1st molars. his forceps were humungous!! and to grip the tooth properly, they had to position the forceps and bind it with rope, and it took them 2 hours to extract a tooth. each tooth was extremely long, and thankfully, wasn't multirooted. twas fun to watch and see the similarities between them and us.
occupational hazard i guess. :p

2011-05-30T21:48:00.006+10:00

my heart broke when his head broke.
and now i've gotta bounce back and move on.

i wish i were still on those 'vacation rotations'.
no having to plan, think, hope and pray that things go my way.

i need one of these.

or this..

2011-05-21T16:05:00.008+10:00

i felt instantly lightheaded, having lost some hair in the process. just off the top of my head, i'd guess it was about a thousand strands. they made our hair stand on end without even trying, and from the corner of my eye, i watched helplessly as the dude sitting next to me got a pretty close shave.

why does every haircut seem like another adventure?
the waiting, the sitting, the trying to explain what it is you want yet not finding the words to describe it, then sitting there holding your breath/having your breath taken away as each snip takes you closer to the end product, which you'll be wearing for the next couple of months before your next such 'ordeal'.

maybe i'm just being paranoid.

from the age of 3, i've had about a hundred haircuts in the hands of multiple hairdressers. before this age, mum was always delighted to play 'hairdresser' with her little girls. i can't recall if she ever asked our consent, but since parental consent would instead involve asking dad's permission, we never really had a say. i guess it would be fun styling your daughters' hair, provided they're little angels who would keep still for long enough. (kinda goes without saying that we were) perhaps that gave her a good outlet for work stress..

getting our tresses adjusted was always easy in singapore. we were loyals with the juju-skinny-and-namelesschildhaircutter gang. they're a friendly bunch and watched us grow up. they were there throughout the school years, from the days i needed a booster seat to see the mirror at all to my first above-the-collar school cut, into the center-parting phase, and through to the layering frenzy. haircuts never annoyed me, except when they were cut too short, which didn't happen rarely.

china was slightly trickier, and added to my overall hair experience. there, we went to several shops. twas a case of trial and error.
one of them reminded me of a lion's enclosure at the zoo. as though wanting to make a statement with their own crowning glory, each hairstylist's mane was bigger and wilder than the next's. they say asians are meant to have straight hair, but a few of them managed to achieve full-on affros. at that salon, i think the best stylist was the one with early male-patterned balding. his down-to-earth hairstyle (or possible lack thereof) and personality didn't freak me out the way the other lions' did.

in china, assistants were hired just to guide the customer from door to chair, wash your hair, massage your scalp and shoulders, clean your ears (indeed, lol), hold your hair in a towel and escort you back to the chair, dry your hair, serve you tea, fetch you magazines, and then sit there with you till it was your turn for a haircut. when the hairdresser did arrive and cut your hair, they stood and watched (possibly after having earned the right to observe the 'master' in action), and picked the stray hairs off your forehead and nose while the master continued with his snipping, completely ignoring the assistant. i guess you've gotta start somewhere on the corporate ladder/food chain..

in australia, it's been interesting, since haircuts are exorbitantly priced compared to what we're used to. $50 for a trim hardly seems worthwhile, and even $40 for a cut felt steep, considering it lacked a neck massage and cleaning behind the ears. As one of my friends put it, 'you girls would gladly spend on an expensive meal, but would refuse to pay for a haircut, and rather wait till the next time you fly home, even if it's at the end of the year.'
yea, i guess we're kinda logical like that.

in my years here, i've been to a few hairdressers here and there. i've been to kairos, biba, good morning, and the academy (where i realised what ugtc patients go through under the care of noob dental students, in a hair-cutting context), and each time's been a new adventure. at kairos, the malaysian did a good job. at biba, it wasn't very memorable other than the $40 pricetag. at good morning, the grumpy korean made me wanna laugh out loud when he styled my hair with the curling iron, korean-style. i didn't like him, so i suppose now i'm biased. he musta felt he'd done a good job with the curling, but it just looked too korean for this singaporean. i went to the academy twice, and it was good fun to watch. The first stylist was a vietnamese lady who was clearly quite noob. the whole process took an hour and a half (a normal haircut takes about 15-20mins i believe), and she had this stressed look the entire time, snipping extremely cautiously, and was grateful for my patience when it was over. this was back in my 3rd year, and it made me laugh when i realised the similarities between us. My second stylist there was clearly a perfectionist, and made sure every hair was in its right place before she let me out of the chair, which didn't take long at all. i had no complaints, especially for an $8 cut.

today's experience was different from the rest, as it felt like i had a haircut in Vietnam. we were planning on getting our pho fix in footscray, when i decided i could do with a fringe again. so after some lunch, we took a chance and entered a busy-looking salon. i'm not sure if she understood english, but she looked pretty pro snipping hairs off the previous customer's head with precision at lightning speed. before i could figure out if the guy on tv was singing in cantonese or vietnamese, both languages of which are foreign to me, i was ushered into the chair. as usual, i couldn't really explain what haircut i was after, other than the words 'fringe' and 'trim'. 'what type fringe?', 'how short?', she asked. i hadn't much clue, so i just mimed a side-way fringe and didnt bother with the second question. soon after, we agreed on a length and she grabbed what looked like an old-school shaving knife and ZNNNG, my fringe was done. like WOW... i was a bit too stunned to say anything, not to mention the apparent language barrier. she then proceeded to straighten every single strand of my hair with a straight iron. i'd never seen this done before a haircut, only after (by the grumpy korean). i was more accustomed to a hairwash followed by blowdrying till your hair looked normal and clean before they commenced cutting the hair down to size.

as though my hair wasn't already straight enough to begin with, she kick it up a notch and straightened all the life out of it. it was funny to see the individual strands staying completely straight when blown in the wind after it all. instead of a bunch, the hair spread out like a sheet of paper when flipped over the shoulder. each strand's shadow was visible when the sun cast a shadow on the ground. it looked like any other rebonded head of hair i guess. now i know never to have my hair permanently rebonded. :p

anyway, when she was finally convinced that my hair was as straight as it'll ever be, she began to snip. it was interesting watching her take chunks out of my hair (i make it sound terrible, don't i) as she layered everything, and i was glad she looked in full control, cos even if i had something to say about it, i wouldn't know how to convey it. it struck me that i'd learned terms from multiple languages (though few and inconsequential), but the only one i knew in vietnamese was a swear word.. hardly useful today.

i'd never seen my hair this straight before, and thankfully it wasn't permanent. the limp straight hair came back to (wild)life, just by adding water. i quite like it - less untidy, less annoyingly long. and at $17, it was a pretty good deal.

can't believe i wrote about my hair for 2 hours. -.-
incredible.

2011-05-18T21:20:00.003+10:00

We're back on the mainland, and gone are the days of the kampung.
And i can't believe it's been 6 weeks.

I still remember the week before we left. I was full of insecurities. How will we survive with no internet? What if we wanna kill each other within week one? What if i have to do all the cooking? What if i get homesick? What if we have disagreements? What if our friendships go south? What if it happens while we're still stranded in the wilderness? What if one of us gets mugged/stabbed/shot? What if i leave my phone charger behind?

Well, i now have all the answers to those questions. Not. I've most of them anyway.
Most times, it helps to take a breath, take a step back, and try to see things from another perspective. Sometimes it just helps to redirect those thoughts and words where they may never be seen again, or where you can go back to them when you're no longer feel capable of homicide. Or, just do a Millionaire, and phone a friend.

Morwell opened my eyes, to the more 'local' point of view. Till that stint, i'd never seen an aboriginal. I'd had the opportunity to treat several, and i guess they're just a misunderstood bunch. I'm one of those misunderstanders i suppose. But then again, the circumstances under which we met weren't the most ideal. They were in pain, and hence less friendly and more likely to reach for my neck. I'd been pushed, by circumstances and myself, to be braver than i felt on various occasions, and thankfully, they worked themselves out. I was such a worry-wart that a sharps injury turned my world upside down, despite attempts to shove it to the back of my mind.

Thankfully, we did not have no internet, i never had to cook alone, we did not get mugged/stabbed/shot, and i never left my phone charger behind. Phew.

My friends even came to stay over one weekend, all sprawled across the carpeted living room like sardines in a can. I found out i'm no fisherwoman, no soccerstar, no frisbee catcher, and no pokerface.

From this rotation, I learnt that i love the guitar, i like kids, and i love extracting teeth. And i also learnt that boys can watch snsd videos for hours (my groupies anyway) and never get bored. Ask any one of them and they'll dance them for you. (:

And now, we're back to the world where every patient we see comes with a score and mark-sheet. The past 2 days have been Paeds days. And honestly, getting to know my kids has been great fun. My first was shy and 6years old. His every answer was a shrug of the shoulders. My second was uber cute and 10, but came with a parental warning that he won't let anything into his mouth if a dentist were holding it. Fun. He turned out to be a great statue in the xray booth and opened his mouth even before i asked him to. Phew.

Viet's kid was cute. My 18 yr old was turned away as he's too old to be a paeds patient (go figure), so i assisted. His pt had a pulpotomy yesterday, and the filling fell out overnight. So she arrived with her daddy and a ziploc bag labelled 'Ruby's Feeling'. How cute is that..

Guess I like treating kids more than i do adults, and it kinda shows. But dealing with tears and tiny humans for the rest of my life? I simply can't imagine it. Not right now anyway.

2011-04-06T08:08:00.001+10:00

A woman is often measured by the things she cannot control. She is measured by the way her body curves or doesn’t curve, by where she is flat or straight or round. She is measured by 36-24-36 and inches and ages and numbers, by all the outside things that don’t ever add up to who she is on the inside. And so if a woman is to be measured, let her be measured by the things she can control, by who she is and who she is trying to become. Because as every woman knows, measurements are only statistics. and STATISTICS LIE.

- Nike Advertisement. 1991

2011-03-28T14:34:00.006+11:00

hello from morwell!
i got NOSHed 3 times today, which is not a common occurence i think. but then again, i'm the queen of NOSHes right?
at least i've gotten to do 4 cool fillings so far today. otherwise i'd be slit-my-wrist-type devastated. hha ok not really.. :p

NOSH means NO SHow.

and so i finally got my chance to check out the town. there, i was excessively paranoid that i'd get robbed or abducted, especially coming under a tunnel/passage with a random dude seemingly walking more and more closely to me, though the path was soooo wide. -.- oh, i musta been so brave. or just silly. but anyway..

my groupmates aren't most keen when it comes to exploring, and so for the past week we've just been going from clinic to home to the next town and back to the city, all by car. we havent even checked out the fabled awesome wooden playground yet, which surprises me. granted, the weather was against us, what with random showers, the drain-clogging 'floods'. it was all interesting to see. frank got eaten alive by mosquitoes and his hands looked lumpy for the week.

the thing that reminded me most of where i was was the snails and slugs and spiders i've seen everywhere. funny how all the weird stuff starts with S. slimy and so gross. but i'm liking the place. more and more each day.

just not the snails climbing up my door and earthworms diving into the floormat.

wow this has got to be another case of 'be careful what you wish'. just last night i was wishing for a light monday, after watching Braveheart till midnight and then just chilling out with the gang. maybe i'll go take a nap right now.. zzzZZZZZ

lol. ning's song is playing on the radio now.
i miss having everyone nearby..

2011-03-20T10:32:00.002+11:00

off to morwell in a bit.. and then the adventure begins.
byebye city lights, and hello possums and poorly-lit streets.
maybe we'll see a shooting star or two if we're lucky. maybe we'll come back unscathed if we're luckier. :p

dinner last night was hilarious, with people in varying codes of dress. i reckon it was more fun that way. was great to see those familiar faces again after an eternity.(:
karaoke was awesome, and it ended with a bang with that Chinadolls song. havent heard it since our primary school days. ha.
brekkie with the future vets, lawyers n doc was awesome too, sitting 2 heads down from novac djokovic. can't wait for this wkend!!! :D

ahhh i've gotta get my expectations in order. but then again, it's only 5days and we'll be back to civilisaion again. it'll be great.

take care, everyone.

2011-03-15T23:35:00.007+11:00

since my hand is 'sore', a mystery guest blogger wrote this on my behalf (grab a paper (barf)bag and some tissues while you've the chance..). needless to say, he shall remain nameless.

"today was a wonderful day. i was partnered with evan- oh, evan, what a fantastic specimen of humanity. he was the best assistant a poor girl like me could ask for. as soon as he saw me that day he jumped with shock and care at the purple of my bruised hand. during the day he often checked to see i was coping. what did i do to deserve such a wonderful partner! and to top it all off, he is SO HUMBLE! he would never say a nice thing about himself. truly a wonderful, wonderful person. i know he will have a great future!"

couldn't have worded it better myself.. thank you.

need sleep now. my eyes hurt from rolling upwards too much. lol.

2011-03-13T23:24:00.003+11:00

i'm in pain. and it's not the 'oooh it means i've done some good exercise' kind of pain. more like the 'why on earth did i put myself through this' sort of agony.

i went surfing, and that was fun.
but so far today i've had a fever, severe muscle aches, an inflammed throat, sunburn across my face resembling a malar rash, and not to mention an ache in my wrist and the back of my hand from the recoil of the surfboard cable, and a bumpy bruise for visual reminding. even turning around to smack my mum for being 'insensitive' pains me first.

still, i think it was worth it.
good thing we picked the long weekend. silver lining much.

to top it all off, i was blissfully ignorant of the tsunami alerts.
what a weekend. reading news on japan is heartbreaking.

2011-03-11T22:01:00.002+11:00

it's heartening to know ppl still tiptoe to this space, though it's been stagnant for about a week now. i'm not sure if it inflates my ego to more than its suitable size, but it's now secondary to my current new pain.

as of 5 minutes ago, i'm now even more thankful for peripheral vision, and having two eyes. i've now got a bump and a spot of red on the arch of my head along my hairline to remind myself for the next few hours/days whenever i look in the mirror.

while showering, i knocked over one of those hotel shampoo bottles, so, naturally i bent down to pick it up. unfortunately a stream of water blinded my right eye, and still hurtling towards the fallen bottle with one eye shut, i didnt realise the corner of the shelf was as close as it was. doink. now i know how my one-eyed hamster must have felt, always knocking into things unintentionally..

in other news, i got to work on a tiny human today!!!
i've never had paeds before, and this kid was adorable. the file said he was here for a review of the extraction done several days before, and to see if the 'cabbage' abscesses (dr e's words) had healed over. then it seemed i was to check a BOH student's charting, and then he could go. the checking went in a flash, so dr e told me to scale and clean. we found his shakey baby tooth was a plaque trap for its neighbours and gave him the choice of leaving or pulling. his mum made the final decision, and dr e wanted to try a 'trick' and train him to be his own dentist. magic gel + self-extraction. the kid was obviously stressed. he was 7. his mum was possibly in a hurry, and threatened to yank it out if he didnt do it himself. -.- at this, he started to cry. go figure.

anyway, this obviously wasn't working, so i told the boy i had a better way, but it may hurt for 5seconds first. i whipped out the local anaesthetic and he started to cry again, but while giving LA, i told him of my own fear of needles, and how i'd cried even before the needle got prepared and wouldn't let the school nurses touch me, and mum had to make a special trip with me to the doc's so that i could have that jab, during which i cried again. on hindsight, i wasn't very bright, thinking that if i flexed my arm muscles, the needle wouldn't be able to pierce my skin, and hence they couldn't jab me. now i think it could have done the opposite, causing the needle to break inside my arm or something.. hmmm.. childhood innocence. :p

but i digress. when the forceps came out, the poor guy started whimpering again, so i offered to let him help me by holding my forcep-holding hands. he declined, and probably thought i was crazy. ha. that turned off the tears though.
in the time he took to attempt to hold his breath, the tooth was out, and even he laughed at how anticlimatic it was.

that was one cute kid. not a bad first. (:

2011-03-05T23:11:00.004+11:00

i like those shoes.
and sure, they may be a man's, but it's still mesmerizing. and the dog likes them too!

i find it interesting how though shoes and what they look like may not be a big deal, but they often leave a memory in their wake. pokie had a problem remembering people's faces, so she remembered them by shoes. only one problem - most people like to interchange their shoes.. but that was a good aid anyhow. frank has a shoe memory too (or perhaps just a really good memory in general), and could describe about 4 pairs that i own, which was astounding, since i never thought they'd be rememberable. i thought i was just strange, being unable to forget certain people's shoes and shirts. just can't help it, honestly. it sure came in handy the day we had to reuse the gowns from the day before.. :p

shoes, you're awesome.

2011-02-26T22:15:00.002+11:00

they say (specifically who, i'm not sure) you can tell a lot about a person by their reaction to rain, a papercut, and lost baggage.

in the past two days, i've realised about myself stuff about the latter two.

yesterday i had the worst papercut recallable. while waiting in line for a concession pass, i attempted single-handedly removing the form from its envelope, and zzzzing, a friction burn split the skin covering my fingernail. it took me to a dark place and i whined like a brat.

on hindsight, it was hardly that bad. this i realised only the day after, when a flex of the finger didn't trigger a cringe, and the washing hands didnt cause it to sting. it was more the fear of the worst and my thick book of past experience that triggered this allodynia. i know better now.

today i took my bro out for the day. i didnt lose baggage, but i lost my mum's myki, barely a month old. what was to be done was obvious. the initial shock was what killed it. bro went into overdrive, and i almost joined in. my carelessness took the fall for it, but all is well now. the card has probably found a new owner (who'll no doubt take better care of it), and we'll just have to find its replacement. no big.

the kindness of people (aussies mainly) never fails to surprise me. from the moment i realised our loss it was heartening. the silent bus driver chose not to bark at us to purchase a new ticket and offered the ride to make it better. when we'd (i'd) decided we should go back and find it, the next busdriver told us to hop on and even offered to call the bus company for us, and fed us random jokes. i musta looked a mess to invoke that sorta treatment, but it was cool. the lady at reception told of hope and cheer. the lady at the dress shop was all 'awww, poor dear. i'd come look with you if i could. good luck!'. the last busdriver was pragmatic and told us to buy a ticket (as he should do), rather than risk inspectors making the day even trickier.. after getting lost at ruddley lake park on bro's playground hunt, we seeked help from 2 canto-speaking uncles, who panted directions and stopped to make sure we didnt get lost.

though there's much to grumble about aussieland and its 30min bus-waits, the people are a different breed to those i'd expect to find back home. not to say we're unfriendly or unkind, but there is a sure 'mind-my-own-business' way of life, where sticking your neck out and being forthcoming about it isnt as abundant a trait.

but anyway, as i was saying.. papercut and lost baggage.
i'd like to be smiley and calm about it. but unless i lose nerve function or simply have no concern for my belongings, which are both a bit worrying actually, there'll never be the day i'd react that way.

as for my reaction to rain.. i'll find out tomorrow. it's gonna be a rainy week.
then again, the result may be biased now.

2011-02-24T21:55:00.003+11:00

long trainrides are interesting, give you time to think, and provide you with new insights you may not find elsewhere.

today, opposite me sat 2 girls, about my age.
they spent the entire traintrip bitching about people. users, lovers, haters.. people.
i just sat there with that sopping wet bag of veggies and looked in every other direction.

then from the corner of my eye, i saw one of them put her phone into what looked like a breast pocket in her hoodie.
but hoodies dont have breast pockets do they?

next i knew, i saw her pull out her phone from inside her shirt, next to her boob.
lol. i've heard of people keeping spare cash there, but a phone?! er.. hoodies come with pockets so you can store stuff, right?

i can't imagine storing anything there, lol. it'd be so heavy! and lobsided. and uncomfy. gross too.

not to mention dangerous..
all those studies have shown that by putting your phone in your pants pockets, you risk irradiating your privates and obliterating your sperm count.
so why should your boobs be any different?

which reminds me of malay gangsta dudes with their gravity-defying hair and caps that rest atop their heads that serve no purpose other than to protect their whipped-cream hairdos from the wind.
AND to store their wallets and phones.
phone rings, and ahmad (his real name, i heard his friends call out) lifts the 'lid' off his head, and pickes up his phone - off his head, "hello".

do these people think of the radiation they're dosing themselves with at all?

and then they walk into our clinic and we say they need an xray, and they frown upon the thought of an 'unnecessary' dose of radiation.

hello world.

2011-02-22T16:28:00.004+11:00

"yeaaaaa... that's life", head-shakes the man with a dr pepper can in hand to no one in particular, empathetically, as he boards the tram.

what a peculiar man, i thought. within seconds, that thought amoeba-ed 5-fold as his 'scent' whafted up my nose, twisting my gut. i counted my lucky stars when he bypassed and stood behind me.

but no, fate is not thus kind. "yea.. that's life", remember?

not sure what changed his mind - fengshui or his love horoscope perhaps, but he soon gravitated to the spot in front of my seat.

thought: 'oh please please please don't fart. your tobacco perfume's already gassing me. i really shoulda just walked home..'

it was then that he unleashed his burping fury, upon those standing in front of him. 5 ferocious belches were summoned from somewhere deep within him, melting the happy faces of those around him. one lady even delved into the arms of her boyfriend, hoping to seek solace from this disaster, but no.. not even love could save her. dr pepper dude took her breath away, and her eyes rolled back in their sockets.

thought: 'whoa. thank heavens he changed his standing spot.. this must be my lucky day..'

after all his gases were in order, dr pepper dude rubbed his belly and glanced around with a grin. this was so absurd i just couldnt look him in the face. he then proceeded to give himself a chest-rub, and then when he'd rubbed to his chest's content, his hand migrated to his pits.. and they too got the affection they so desperately desired..

with a heap of luck, he finally got off 4 stops later, and the breathless girlfriend promptly came back to life.
if that's what a true-blue aussie guy is like, yikes, i hope i never have to meet one again.

2011-02-21T22:20:00.006+11:00

Our cells get replaced within months; our palates get refined within weeks; our ideas get replaced within days; our fears get allayed within hours; and our senses get heightened in a moment.

i guess i'm not the same girl i was last november, nor the one i was last week.
so i guess you can never really claim to know a person. cos at a moment's notice, they may no longer be who you think they were.

strange really.
today evan n i tackled clinic 9 together while frank n alison took down clinic 10, at whitehorse.
for us, it was racial harmony day or something. and it brought forth some cultural awareness in my mind.
of the patients we saw, the first was lebanese, the second, greek (with an italian surname and a husband from egypt), the third, greek (with a killer sense of humour that left me giggling like an idiot - thankfully my minimal exo skills saved his confidence in me), the forth, sudanese, and the last, indonesian.

it was amazing.
language and cultural difference never sounded alarm bells like this in my life.

perhaps it's cos i hail from singapore, with my pri and sec schs having only 1 indian and 1 malay, put together. cultural diversity wasn't really a mainstay in my life, though sg's government may speak otherwise.

but today, it was a stark contrast to our 'chinatown' clinic last friday (it was hilarious and i had to speak broken chinese to patients who argued and bargained like they were in a market at times).

my favourite part was how gratitude and joy seem to transcend whatever language barrier. though left without an interpreter within our midst, the lebanese dude's pleasure in having one tooth less was encouraging. and he called me 'doctor', which made me laugh, not from a pride-swollen head, but from how i knew he couldnt possibly say 'thank you, dental student' to me. ha.

the greek man's joy in losing his teeth was also an eye-opener. seriously, how could anyone be so pleased to have his teeth parted from him forever? his driving skills certainly cracked me up. also, he barely looked 50, let alone 74!

the sudanese lady's helplessness kinda got to me. language, exposure and understanding kinda stood between us. it's times like this that i feel truly speechless, and helpless. the communication i'd taken for granted just didnt work for us in the same way today. while i was tonguetied, evan managed to bridge the gap, what with 'hurt, no hurt'.

the indonesian lady, regrettably, had to wait 1.5hours just to be seen for her history n exam. patience like that, you don't see just anywhere. for that, she has my admiration. i'd have kicked a table, kicked a chair, and pushed an old lady down the stair. (just kidding..)

but yea, cultural awareness day.
so much better than the aboriginal one we had last year.
these patient-taught lessons are cooler. :p

2011-02-19T21:37:00.003+11:00

dinner, in a new place.

i've recently taken to the reviews, recommendations and rankings on Urbanspoon, and have since noted several places i'd wanted to try. little did i realise that some of these have to be taken with a pinch of salt.

tonight we went to Kake Di Hatti.
Hatti is a Punjabi word for small road-side shop, and on its business card, it proudly claims to be the first Hatti in Australia.

the reviews on urbanspoon were rave and brilliant, and this place came up tops on the Best Indian food in Victoria list. we were pretty excited to try 'melb's best indian food', since the ones i've tried at other places were already pretty awesome.

and then we drove pass, and i mentally prepared myself. the bright orange facade, and quaint under-renovated interior (the glimpse i got anyway) made me think a little, and we all know what that leads to..
anyway, the place was known for its 'cheap and good'-ness, and its warmth and good service, so what was not to love about a seasoned exterior?

after finding parking and getting dripped on by airconditioner water, we walked in and i had a quick laugh to myself.

*in my head* 'of course.. urbanspoon is written by caucasians for other caucasians.. why didnt i think of that?'

my eyes swept the room, and the only darker complexions in the room belonged to the cashier, 2 waiters, the female boss, and an african dude who was in the company of his caucasian dinnermates.

rx: where did all the indians go?
mum: maybe they cook at home on weekends.
ry: maybe they're late.

LOL.
we were the only non-white customers, with the exception of the earlier-mentioned african dude. (his dreadlocks were awesome btw..)
as it turned out, the food was good, but not as ravingly good as was described on those reviews. to be fair, they've got a whole wall-ful of epicure, the age and cheapeats 2004-2008 articles plastered on in full glory.
bro loved their palak paneer, and janice liked the 'cooked for royalty' dish.

me? i was just in shock from this mental-visual lapse, but the food was good anyhow.
but it just goes to show that some things just can't be taken in full, regardless of how much you'd like to trust.

i suppose these reviews set a standard/paint a picturemap and guide you along the food trail. but most times you've just gotta give it a go and decide for yourself, as with other things in life i suppose.

funny. where did all the indians go?

2011-02-18T18:06:00.004+11:00

my mum approves of Down by Jay Sean.
ok, maybe not approve.
she likes it.
a lot.

*rain splatters on the window, giving me the perfect excuse for not having to go to the REB playground after mum's been bugging for the past half hour*
rx: listen to the rhythm of the falling rain, telling you just what a fool you've been..
mum: don't need to worry, even if the rain is down down down.. even when the sun is falling down..
rx: O.o is that a song?
mum: yea, i think so. do you have it?
rx: *expecting a song from the 1800s* errrr.. who's it by?
mum: i dunno. isnt that what the internet is for?
rx: ok.. would it happen to be this song? *plays jay sean's, though knowing its unlikelihood*
mum: yaaa that one! do you have the lyrics??

O.O
i'm impressed. lol.

rx: i found the lyrics if you want..
mum: oh, ok. can you print it out for me?
rx: *rofl*

2011-02-16T22:23:00.003+11:00

it's strange. i got the day off, and that got me feeling disorientated and unsure what to do with the time on my hands.
not that i'm complaining, but it was as if my body's atuned to the early waking and hustle and bustle that has been life at whitehorse community clinic the past 2 days.

i auto-woke at 7 today, though nothing was expected to happen.

anyway, the good news is, thanks to my day off, we now have the bigpond internet thing fixed up, and we no longer have to queue up for internet!! no more having to wait for that usb stick. wooooots!
they smartly sent the collection letter to unit 302, my neighbours.. >.<
better late than never i guess.

i got my exercise for the week today too - 1 hour of zumba.
i must be getting old, cos each week i come back feeling more tired.
perhaps it's cos of pushing myself that bit more, now that the footwork and arms arent as misplaced.. who knows.

strangely, on my day off, there was no one at home. -.-
so much for spending time with family. things never go according to plan, but one can hope anyway. :p

2011-02-13T21:39:00.000+11:00

i smiled out loud.
SOL.

2011-02-12T23:45:00.002+11:00

lalala. today, iggy and i had our first tastes of ballet.
and lol, i've swiftly changed my mind about doing a ballet recital when i'm 70 after i take it up during a midlife crisis or random turn-of-events in this life.
it's just too complicated, and uncomfortable.

no offence, but the few ladies i've met who've grown up with ballet training reminded me abit (ok, a lot) of mother goose from childhood tales. their gait, posture and build somehow brought that image to mind, and not once have i been able to shed it, much as i've tried.
technically, i only know 3 ppl my age who've had that background. but i suppose 3 out of 3 is a sufficient cohort study for me..

our teacher today, however, reminded me of a swan instead.
maybe that's what 20years of training does for you.
duckling -> swan transformation.

she was delightful, and we picked up our 1st, 2nd and 3rd positions, did our Plié's, Port de bras and Arabesques.. and even did a Fondue or two.

by the middle of it, the 7 year old kid was in tears from not being able to keep up. i guess being thrice (or more, for some) her age, we could probably withstand more confusion and trans-positional stress better than she.. poor kid. her mum was a 40yr old ballerina, with ribbon tattoos under both buttcheeks. i'm not sure what to make of it really.

overall, it was a fun experience, mainly cos my whole life, i'd wondered how i'd have turned out if i'd taken a dance class or two. would i have an extra ounce of grace to my name? or would i just be more.. goosey.

i guess we'll never know.

but, like my brief hiphop stint was, this one was an insightful experience.
i've yet to watch Black Swan, and i doubt i ever will, but the dedication of ballerinas has always been intruiging. someday, i'd like to go watch Swan Lake, and perhaps that'd unchange my mind about that ballet recital after all.

2011-02-08T00:09:00.001+11:00

And she said “I want something that I want.
Something that I tell myself I need
Something that I want
I need everything I see”.

gasp.

2011-02-06T10:27:00.003+11:00

welcome to OMG facts.
it's actually all pretty interesting, although certain functions led to inconveniences on my phone. >.<

Proportional to their weight, men are stronger than horses.
(o.O)

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.
(O.O)

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
(lol)

Women are better than men at identifying smells.
(and btw, everyone's BO smells different - their fact, not mine)

Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow film down so you could see his moves.
(O.O)

Beethoven dippes his head in cold water before he composed.
(o.O)

Nearly one third of New York City public school teachers send their own shildren to private schools.
(LOL. that's just sad)

A company in Taiwan makes dinnerware out of wheat, so you can eat your plate.
(lol. nutritious much)

Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.

Despite the hump, a camel's spine is straight.

As you age, your eye colour gets lighter.

In all three Godfather films, when you see oranges, there is a death (or a very close call) coming up soon.
(LOL. thinking back, it kinda matches.. before he got shot he was purchasing oranges. before he died he was playing with his grandson in the garden..)

This is addictive.
ciao.

2011-02-04T22:54:00.002+11:00

yikes. the worst thing that coulda happened to me (in a diva sense) happened - i got to watch a brilliant movie, only to have to stop halfway. my heart cries, longing for the other half. >.<

The Blind Side.
please contact me if you have it. it's 'bloody brilliant'.

there was hope, when i realised i may be able to copy the movie onto my phone, since it wasn't possible to borrow a usb, since we won't be seeing these nice ppl in a while. alas, my phone could not be read on their computer. the closest it got was being read as a camera. how weird is that..

i know what i want, and i want it now. ):

in other news, it was a good day. yay.

2011-01-30T00:41:00.000+11:00

shubug and woobug (/ruibug)

2011-01-25T16:19:00.002+11:00

rawr.
are things merely a coincidence? or do they happen for a reason..

lately i'd been surrounded by things that seemed coincidental, yet appeared to be just another link in the chain.

take today, for example. had i not been disappointed at one thing, i wouldnt have decided to tram home, which means i wouldnt have bumped into B, and wouldnt have stood there for half an hour talking to her, and wouldn't have run into YM whom i've been thinking of contacting and never did, and wouldn't have seen M walk by and found out he's still alive and around melb.

all because of one thing, others followed.
it had a dreamlike quality to it.

today was a good day.
i woke up worried that my patient wouldnt show up. he did, on time too.
i had to take I/O photos, and the camera couldn't focus. my patient knew enough to declare it malfunctional. (i've used DSLRs before, and this one just wouldnt focus and take photos)
ytd i felt i wasn't exercised enough. i sure got it today, hustling the camera that weighed a ton - my arms feel toned and that feels weird.
and thank goodness for trainee DAs. i'd have had a spare half-hour without them, but i'm glad they enjoy lobsided cheek-retraction so much. in the end, my patient did a better job retracting himself. i tried hinting from the beginning that i had no time to be part of 'traineeship', but.. that didn't quite work out huh?
all that camera action shot down an hour of my three-hour clinic time.
plus, the photos were pretty crap. and i dont even get to have them till someone transfers them onto the DA com in 2-3weeks' time.
i had 20cavities to temporise. gave up on temporising from lack of time and just permanented 3.
my patient told me stories while i head-bobbed politely, waiting for the next chance to shove things into his mouth.

life of a dental student. fun.

2011-01-17T21:10:00.005+11:00

I'm nothing but a sandcastle
Baby don't blow me away

who knew beyonce had a sister? i certainly didnt. but she sure can sing, this solange knowles. (:
i've been having that song on loop, and its upbeatness makes for a fun day.

after my 5min encounter with the rch dudes (it was a very disappointing morning, since they'd left for 'ward rounds' without me at 8.50am, which is about the time i got there though our timetable said 9am. there was nothing else to see other than a baby with severe cleft lip and palate.. and so we were dismissed at 9.10am, without me having seen anything yet), i went to the hardware societe. it was interesting, and the first time i'd gone to a cafe by myself.
i had this strange brekkie thing called arroz con leche, which had calaspara rice, vanilla bean, strawberries, black pepper and pedro ximenez.

if anything caught my eye, it was the blackpepper on strawberries. and what on earth was pedro ximenez?! and calaspara rice? my curiosity got yet another chance to kill me. but alas, i'm still alive.
and though weird, the whole thing went very well together, even the blackpepper. wiki told me pedro ximenez is a spanish intensely sweet, dark, dessert sherry, which was what kinda brought the whole 'dish' together.

i was essentially eating rice soaking in milk from a jar, with strawberries and other stuff added in. the place is meant to be spanish, so i'm guessing the food types there were spanish as well. strange how i just sat there for 2 hours..

in other words, it took me 2 hours to finish that jar of milk rice. slowpoke.

and here's why there aren't any unicorns for us to play with today:

2011-01-16T01:33:00.003+11:00

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain..

I've concocted resolutions which i should probably note before my goldfish memory forgets them. cp was asking what i usually resolve to do and if they work out, and it made me realise i never really follow through on any of them. These ones are mainly to do with health though, but i think mind and body go hand-in-hand, so the rest should fall into place if this works out..

1) Eat healthier - greens, yellows, oranges and stuff. shant junk my GIT just cos it's convenient or cos it's comfortable shortterm. i've already kept off junk food all week, without even trying tbh. sweets are ok, just once in a while (had 'melb's best macaron 2010' today! twas lovely!). veggies shall be my better friends.
wise quote: 'better to pay the grocer than the doctor'

2) Exercise - twice a week (at least). if those busy surgeons can find the time, i think i can too. and carrying groceries home doesnt quite count, though it seems like quite a workout each time i do so. it might be a reflection of how unfit i am, i guess..

3) I won't let msn be the last thing i do every day - bad bad habit. major absorbant of time. there's gotta be more to life..

4) Find the good in people, not zoom in on the not-so-good - the doc i saw in theatre that day was inspirational, not as a surgeon, but more so as a person. i've still got a long way to go, but maybe one day i'll get there.

2011-01-14T22:09:00.002+11:00

oh the rain.
my toenails feel like they've melted, after standing all day in my soggy rain-soaked shoes. i'd half a mind to just go to theatre barefoot with only those blue shoecovers on, but worried they'd drop the jaw-saw or other bits of 'fun' on me..
fingers crossed i dont get athelete's foot. my poor exercise regime does not deserve such a disease..

today for the first time in the handful of surgeries i've observed, i saw female surgeons, and they were truly inspirational. previously i'd only seen tanky dudes muscling out stubborn wisdom teeth. today i met a supercool pregnant asian lady dental surgeon. with no offence intended, she looked to me like she could give birth any moment now. and yet she was able to stand throughout all 3 surgeries, and her heart was totally in it. made me feel bad for being achy all over and wanting to just collapse in a chair. it was absolutely wonderful and she was a brilliant teacher, even though she sweated me out with dental questions i didnt know the answers to. thankfully my guesses were lucky today, which may explain my liking for her.. i'm biased, i know.

the second cool lady was a consultant, who knew what needed to be done, and refused to rest till she'd done it. her cold exterior slowly thawed into a welcoming yet firm presence. she was just.. pro.

of course, the males were awesome too. theatre as a whole is awesome, and i could even just sit there and learn the bones of the hand from a chart on the wall when there was nothing better to be done..

inspirational. (:

2011-01-11T17:50:00.003+11:00

most exhausting day EVERRRRRR.

maybe,
having legs fall off without permission = occupational hazard of being a surgeon.
now i appreciate the idea of a dental chair.

my gawd, i was supposed to tell the story the way it is, but my bias has been warped by exhaustion. it was a cool adventure with repositioned jaws (pt had myaesthenia gravis and her AOB caused excessive drooling), random rewiring (of a healing archbar following a semi-healed fracture), ice-cream at lunch, more repositioning of jaws, and it ended semi-gorily.

i spent the morning standing on a stepstool, while tyrone scrubbed up. think i might have gotten the better end of the deal, since it was the best view in the house, other than the operator's i think.. the vantage point was what i'd imagined an out-of-body experience would be like. haha. cool stuff.

the goriest bit:
after the pt's chin was shifted forward (pt was 21 and had a cleft lip and palate), 2 drainage tubes were inserted through his chin, to prevent haematoma formation.
seeing the tubes sticking out of the guy's chin is ok. seeing how they got there is not.
there were sharp spear-like ends on the drainage tubes, and they literally just pierced them through from the inside out. i've a pretty high threshold for gross, but that made my already exhaustion-weakened knees turn to jelly.

still, that was some super awesome life-changing surgery.
and i can see why (most of) the omfsurgeons are tanks. standing for 9hours a day, retracting parts of the mouth or holding the head is no walk in the park.
i feel tankier already.

and sooooo over-exercised. >.<

2011-01-06T03:45:00.004+11:00

i'm not ready to go back. :(

last week i had too much time and too few people to help kill it.
this week it's the reverse.
it's just so hard sometimes.

as usual, the finality sinks in. and as though it has nowhere else to go except to my gut (hence the phrase 'gut feeling' perhaps), my appetite shrinks by half.

i'm actually looking forward to this year's activities and festivities. and surprisingly, this year the fear and dread isn't off-balancing my enthusiasm too much. but i don't wanna leave the people here behind.

'i'll see you next year/end of this year' just sounds too dragged out for a reunion, considering the new year has only just begun. eeeek. sher even asked if i'd come back sooner/more often if one of the girls get married. i certainly would. but we're too young for that; though there's been news of old schoolmates and pregnancies. i think we turned out alright.

'your days are numbered'. >.<

2010-12-24T20:03:00.004+11:00

day #14
my brain's very laggy from being on a jet too long - i believe they call this jetlag.
our 13hour flight was delayed by 2 hours following a wildcats (no, not the High School Musical sort, but the parisian airport ground staff type, likely the movers/loaders) strike, leaving only a few valiant ground staff to load our lugguage under icy conditions. so we sat and we sat and we sat some more. peering out the window, we saw it snow, then rain, and the weather was dreadful. earlier on, just moving our luggage from the coach to the airport had us almost being blown away, possibly attributable to the airport being dome shaped with no wall protection from the cold. being stuck on a plane was the lesser of 2 evils i suppose. the tradeoff was not having the flight cancelled, then be carted back to a hotel and be 'on-call' and entrapped in a hotel room, not knowing when home-time will be.

as one could only hope, singapore airlines came through for us and plied us with endless snacks and supplies, just falling short of cupnoodles (which would have made my day) cos of pre-takeoff hot drinks regulations. they had the inflight entertainment on, which pacified most. it helped that we were stuck on an A380 and not a cramp boeing 747 like the one we'd arrived on. (:

it all feels like a distant dream.
this trip had us watching possibly a dozen films, not-so-new and older, on the planes and in the coach, while being carted from italy to switzerland to france.
1) eat, pray, love (smile with your face, smile with your mind, and smile with your liver. better for me than the book was, except that the book helped me repay my sleepdebt sooner)
2) step-up 3 (sappy love story, awesome dancefighting)
3) triple tap (hongkong film, twisted, where the cute good guy's also the bad guy)
4) despicable me (rewatched. still lovely)
5) just follow law (it's funny how it's true, i guess it's representative of singapore's society)
6) the italian job (i'd like driving lessons from charlize theron please)
7) ice age 3 (peaches)
8) mean girls (always a classic)
9) datenight (steve carell and tina fey are so awesome)
10) i now pronounce you chuck and larry (exceeded expectations, a lot - in a very good way)
11) 家有喜事 (cute)
12) salt (more epic than people gave it credit for)
13) ocean heaven (deeply moving. my fav jet li film so far, maybe cos he used his heart not his fists - LOL what a corny thing to say..)
14) legally blond (barbie goes to law school, too cool) (:

twas an awesome trip. but the thing about long trips like this is you come back feeling more drained than before you left.. zzzZZZ.

-to be continued-

oh and MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! :D

2010-12-11T16:01:00.002+11:00

iggy (sings to the heartbeat tune): i can't feel my heartbeat
me: you're dead to me

we went shopping yesterday, and came across this fur coat. it was made of rabbit and fox fur combined. not sure about you, but i find that ironic 2 sworn enemies end up stitched into the same pelt after death. humans and their humanity..

funny how no one has managed to finish packing yet, though we'll be out of here in 8 hours. funny how even my grandma's capable of sarcasm. funny how it feels like a lazy sunday afternoon already.

2010-12-09T23:06:00.003+11:00

at last.
(:

our results came out today.
i passed!

so for now..

:D

2010-12-08T21:39:00.006+11:00

i'm going through my macaron phase again.
these are pure awesomeness. and i really hope i get to have some yumminess in the land where these awesome creations were born. but then mum doesnt like them, so maybe there go my chances.. prettiness. :D

--------------------------------------
while i'm at it, here's more.
i was swimming in the nile dividing my macaron happy place and my cupcake facination.
i'm glad i can get a sugarhigh without having to even ingest any sugar.
many would be envious.

haha i could go live there and be happy all day.
sorry i'm such a sad person, lol.

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. (:

*love*

2010-12-07T23:52:00.002+11:00

wow i've the coolest friends in the world, and they make the best book-return tagteam. i know who to call next time i need a lib book returned when i'm outta town. :p

life's been pretty good since returning to the place i've spent 3/4 of my life.

the flight home was interesting.
as always, i ended up sitting near the crying baby.
the parents were what some people would call 'brave', while others may see it as 'stupid'. they have 3 kids, approx 2, 4 and 6 years of age, and they were embarking on a 7hr flight to singapore. i suppose they were just brave.
the dad was in charge of the toddler for the first half of the journey. as soon as the plane took off, the kid was wailing so much i could see all of its 6 teeth from the corner of my wandering eye. the dad remained unfazed, and just slapped a wet towel on the kid's bald head. the kid was stunned, with a wet thing balanced on its head, and started giggling/gurgling, his frown turning upsidedown. (lol wat are the chances they've 3 boys.. ok.. math class taught me the probability is 1/8) it was adorable to see, and next moment, i saw the kid having fun trying to shove the damp flannel up/into his dad's nose/mouth. -.-

it's funny how parents attempt to silence their crying kids.
we've heard what that dad did. the mum just kept giving him the pacifier, which this kid hurled with a fury. it was impressive, this kid's talent. maybe one day soon he'll be the pitcher in australia's first baseball game (that's taken seriously) - ok.. correct me if i'm wrong, but baseball aint big/played in aussieland. then again, what do i know.

down the aisle, another desperate mother was tapping 2 plastic cups together just to entertain her child.

the lengths parents go to are amazing.

gah.. mum's telling me to slp..
-to be continued-